Waiting for the karma train......?xX

Whatever you give away today
Or think or say or do
Will multiply about tenfold
And then return to you.

It may not come immediately
Nor from the obvious source,
But the LAW applies unfailingly
Through some invisible force.

Whatever you feel about another,
Be it love or hate or passion,
Will surely bounce right back to you
In some clear or secret fashion.

If you speak about some person,
A word of praise or two,
Soon tons of other people
Will speak kind words to you.

Our thoughts are broadcasts of the soul,
Not secrets of the brain.
Kind ones bring us happiness,
Petty ones, untold pain.

Giving works as surely as
Reflections in a mirror.
If hate you send, hate you'll get back,
But loving brings love nearer.

Remember, as you start this day,
And duty crowds your mind,
That kindness comes so quickly back,
To those who first are kind!

Let that thought and this one
Direct you through each day....
The only things we ever keep
Are the things we give away!

Words 2 live by

Namaste - Unknown Buddhist Poem.




It's a funny thing this karma malarkey ladies. Some times we think it's is with us and other times we swear it is against us! We reassure ourselves that what goes around comes around and we hope the all masterful karma is kind to us. But do we really understand it or has it become a twentieth century excuse we rely heavily upon?

Many religions reference karma in their teachings and beliefs. From Buddhism to Hinduism to Jainism....in fact all Indian philosophies, except off course Lokayats, believe in some sort of karma. By western definition it is the karmic law of Hinduism which we appear to most widely follow. Karma in hinduism maintains that every act done, no matter how insignificant, will eventually return to the doer with equal impact. Good will be returned with good; evil with evil. Since Hindus believe in reincarnation, karma knows no simple birth/death boundaries. If good or evil befall you, it is because of something you did in this or a previous lifetime. Therefore karma cannot be dictated by us mere mortals to decided who deserves what but instead comes from a greater universal system, that system of course depending on your own personal beliefs.

As we travel our journeys, cross new paths and discover new adventures maybe we should be mindful of the karmic ruling. Or maybe it is a non founded belief that we merely use to exact revenge when we feel something is unfair......?

Having spent time travelling in India I have experienced the Indian philosophy of kindness to others first hand. I was privileged to spend some time helping in a soup kitchen for the homeless whilst I was in Delhi. As I learnt to make chapattis, crouched on the floor surrounded by vats of a simple lentil Dahl (that was delicious!!) and amazing Indian women in beautiful saris it was explained to me that the kitchen gave 3500 people a free hot meal daily. This was made up of the lentil Dahl, a chapatti and a very sweet rice pudding type dish. There was no charge for this meal but one simple rule. No matter who you are, from a maharaja to a pauper, every one ate together, on the floor, as we are all equal. What could be more beautiful than that?

But, ladies, if you do believe in karmic revenge the main thing to remember before brandishing the karma stick is that there are always two sides to every story. For every ying there is a yang. No one is perfect and there is no reaction without a previous action to start it. So before you believe everything you hear open up your mind and heart a teeny tiny bit and consider this. If you feel karma has been unkind to you and favourable (unfairly you believe) to another, ask yourself why. Because maybe, just maybe if you look deep enough for long enough you will see that the favourable karma has maybe gone to the girl who has suffered the longest and hardest, you just didn't see it. Maybe you feel you deserve something, maybe you believe karma should give someone the hell deserve but who are you to decide (and you should do a little reading as to the meaning of karma!) Because some times it's about standing tall with all the style and grace you can muster and remember that we are all equal. We will all rise and all fell the pain of a fall, so regardless of your karmic believes maybe the lesson is to treat every body equal and let the universe do its job.........xX

#NationalTextYourExDay .....

So ladies, picture the scene. It is a normal Tuesday morning, you get up, grab a quick shower, throw a dress and heels on for work, with a warming cuppa in hand you take a minute or two for a cheeky quick flick threw Twitter. Nothing shocking about that at all. Until today that is. Today I saw what was trending. Yep ladies, you know the world has officially lost the plot when #nationaltextyourexday is being tweeted world wide!

Obviously having days to celebrate things is lovely. After all mothers day and fathers day can be a reason to celebrate your respective parents brilliance but general encouragement to text your ex....? Mmmmm!!

As I recovered from the giggles I have to admit it really did give me some food for thought and as I sat at my desk munching my morning porridge / nutella combo (amazing perfect winter breakfast!) I realised that this trend could certainly cause some waves.....

When I first saw the trend I have to admit that the first thing I could see in my head was every paranoid, insecure girlfriend spending the day panicking that THEIR man (you know the type) would receive a text from their (no doubt) fabulous ex. Whinging to any poor soul that is passing that ex's have no need to be in touch and if she does send a friendly hello text, said ex will quickly be chastised by psycho Sally as 'not being over him'. Yawn. Maybe said ex is soooo over him she is capable of being polite and friendly? And yes relationships break down but you can still be polite and/or even friends.

For some people it could be seen as a way of mending a rift. A way of putting all the anger, hurt and arguments of what was to bed. To wipe the slate clean and move on, and who can resist some closure? It could be an 'I'm sorry', a 'I wish you the best' or even a 'thank you for the good times'. One last (technical) look over your shoulder with a respectful polite good bye before you wander, heels and standards high, to pastures new.

As I pondered if I would indeed text any of my ex's today I realised that I don't actually need too. I'm in a good place with all of them and whilst we don't text, there are the occasional emails. Now these emails aren't in a 'hey how's you way' and there won't be coffee and catch up's anytime soon but there is still enough respect left to get in touch when we need to. Be it to say 'congratulations on your engagement', 'I'm so sorry to hear your loved one has passed away' or even 'your brake light is out' (what can I say, I'm a nice girl!). None of these acts of kindness mean that I'm holding on to something lost, just more of a sign I can smile at what was and be respectfully polite to what is now. And speaking of the now, when it comes to texting some one today, it wont be my ex. It will be texts to the many wonderful people that I hope will feature in my future. Anyone want to get #nationaltextsomeoneamazing trending tomorrow....? xX

Being A Domestic Goddess.....?

Whether we love or hate it, deprive ourselves or gorge ourselves on it, avoid it or are consumed by thoughts of it, our relationship with food is a funny one. We spend a large portion of our salary on it, we make lists about it and we day dream about it.

Given the times we live in you don't have to look far to find copious amount of information (some correct, others less so) around eating disorders. From anorexia, bulimia, body dismorphia , obesity and mixed complex diagnoses - the world is no longer in the dark to the complex and destructive relationships we can have with food. Food is as essential to our existence as the air we breath, the water we drink and the sleep we have nightly yet we use it and abuse it without much thought for its value. It's as comforting and fundamental as the love we are surrounded by and yet can destroy us if we let it.

Whilst food can be our enemy it can also be part of our relationships and memories. The cup of tea, generous slice of lemon cake and tissues pushed in front of you as the tears flow by your mum. The bacon sandwiches, warming cups of tea, snuggled up on cold winter mornings with a certain someone. The family chattering loudly over each other as the signature dishes are served (for us its the motherships chicken basque and pavlova, all homemade. She is THE meringue queen!). The icy champagne glasses clink in celebration between sisters at their success and the smell of fresh coffee and cake as a friend shares her wonderful news, all amazing memories.

As I sit here writing this blog I am eating. This is very normal for me. The eat, type cycle helps, well I think! So far for this blog I have consumed some sushi, a home made strawberry smoothie, an apple and a cookie from a batch a friend baked me. As I munch and reflect on my relationship with food I have to admit that food is a funny one to me. I love and hate it in equal measures. I've controlled it, manipulated it and demanded more of it than it can ever give. I've used it to fuel me and to comfort me. I've given with it and I've deprived myself to go with out it and yet despite the role it has played in learning to love my body, I have so many wonderful memories of food. Whether I'm eating it, making it or lusting (yes literally) after it I am a total foodie (even got that one trending on Twitter!!) I love nothing more than spending a day baking, cooking and marinating. I love the giving to family and friends who wait hungrily, forks raised in anticipation of what ever delight may be coming out of the kitchen next. I love the catharticness of the stirring, blending and mixing, the reassuring quiet hum of the oven and the fragrant smell filling your soul. Now I'm not claiming to be a domestic goddess (although I have been jokingly called the Nigella of the North, but maybe people are referring to other assets?!) and I'm certainly no GBBO potential candidate (that would be my incredibly talented sister) but I love the way food brings people together. The laughter, the tears and problems solved over a delicious treat. This isn't to say I have haven't had some epic fails along the way but these have made some of the funniest memories. The time I made sundried tomato hummus so solid no one could dip into it, the mince pies I accidentally cremated and attempted to serve covered in cream one boxing day and the time the pancake stuck on the ceiling..... All relative disasters but the best part of the memory of all these adventures is the giggles from the beautiful people whom I was sharing them with. And maybe that's what this food game is all about, sharing. As the delicious delights are split between the people we love and they smile, full of treats, stories and memories made I'm inclined to think, what in life could be better? xX

Getting Over Before You Get Under......xX

Do you think of her when you're with me? Repeat the memories you made together, who's face do you see?

Do you wish I was a bit more like her? Am I too loud?, I play the clown,to cover up all these doubts.

Perfect heart, she's flawless!
She's the other woman,
Shining in her splendour,
You were lost,

Now she's gone
And I'm picking up the pieces,
I watch you cry,
But you don't see That I'm the one by your side......

- Paloma Faith

So what happens when you are a single girl about town, living the dream. Doing what you want, when you want, how you want. You have amazing friends, wonderful family, live your dreams to the full and the weekends are an adventure into the unknown that you can barely wait to happen and a potential prince charming unexpectedly pops up?

As with all men the timing is maybe rubbish, his white stead may be a little rusty and Disney certainly never mentioned that he may be initially verbally inept but never the less he arrives and your interest has been piqued.

So before you start down a potential. new and exciting path there a certain questions that need to be answers. Not about him ladies, but about you. Are you ready for this, is this what you want and are you really over the ex to get under a new man......?


No one wants the feeling that there are three people in your relationship – you, your man and the ex? Do you talk or email your ex a lot? Or maybe you have an unhealthy grudge, or you are preoccupied with what he is doing now? If any of this sounds familiar, it may mean that you haven't completely let go yet. And ladies this can work both ways, does this sound like your man.....?

1. The Waiting Game -
Okies so no matter how well a relationship ended or how angry you are at some one, bottom line is they take TIME to get over. Time to move on, break old habits and time to heal. There are hopes and dreams we have when we get into a relationship that we lose when we lose that relationship and it takes some time to get over those things. If you were together a long time you clearly need more than a couple of weeks before you are over the ex.

2. Crossed Wires -
When did you fall prince charming? Before the end of your current relationship? Is it just an excuse to end your current relationship. Or are you just telling him that in a bid to prove you are over your ex within days when really you are not? Jumping from on person to another doesn't give you any time on your own to process the demise of that previous relationship so you could run into the same problems as before. Once bitten, twice shy ladies......


3. The Extremity -
If you can only talk about your ex in extremes it is not a good sign you are over him. If you can’t say your ex’s name without gagging this is another warning you may need more single time. If you can't resist talking about him constantly, and he is either the most wonderful thing in the world or the most terrible thing in the world, you might want to question why. There are two people in every relationship and two sides to every story. Being honest ladies there is no way your ex was as wonderful or evil as you make out. You need to be in a place where you can honestly look back at both the good and bad times as well as admit what your own flaws, not just what theirs are.

4.Cutting The Ties -
Can you do it? Can you break the habit of contact? Can you stop looking at his Facebook page? Can you give him his belongings back? Are you still obsessively thinking about what was? Hanging on to anything that would ensure you have to be in contact? Or are you trying to hurt him to get a reaction? If so ladies, you know you need more time, more tears to be over him.

5. Obsession -
If you still want to know whats happening in his life, resort to asking his friends to look at his social networking pages and bear some ridiculous venomous need for revenge, now is not the time for a new man. Are you wanting to revisit places you went with the ex with your new man? Are you attracted to your new man because he is trying to be like your ex? If so ladies you are not finished, you haven't done your grieving.

There is a theory that it takes half the time you were with some one to get over them and this may or may not be true for you. Grieving a break up is a very personal thing that can only be done in your own time and style. For me personally I know I'm over some one when I can look back on both the good and bad times in a neutral way. I genuinely wish nothing but the best for any of my ex's, we shared some amazing times. So to let someone go when you know that they are not right for you is the kindest thing you can do. To set each other free so you can run with your dreams, dance with adventure and find that perfect person for you ..... xX

Don't look back in anger.....xX

Gracious goes the ghost of you
And I will never forget the plans and the silhouettes you drew here and
Gracious goes the ghost of you
My dear......

- Ben Howard.


The break up - Maybe you broke his heart, maybe he broke yours, but being honest the chances are you maybe broke each others a little bit. Break ups get messy and maybe the ex turned out to be liar, maybe he showed zero respect to you or even what you had, maybe you regret the part you played and whilst you have forgiven, lessons have been learnt and not forgotten.

But through the inevitable lies, tears and pain it can be hard to remember this was once a man who claimed to not just love you but adore you. Who wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Who hid gifts from your favourite beauty brand (Benefit for the record...) all over a hotel room for you as a surprise. Who came back from a lads holiday with your favourite Dior perfume just because he missed you, who admired, even respected you as a professional and who held you when you sobbed after a difficult day. The man who at one time could make you smile just by being him, who for just a period of time shared your dreams and hopes.

It's so hard to remember the good times when we are blinded by hurt and pain. No one wants to look back and remember the happy times you laughed together, the time you made sushi (and it went so very wrong you got very drunk instead), when he sent you flowers because no one ever had, when he decorated the bathroom as a surprise and the time he made your favourite breakfast in bed as a surprise. It's easier and more comforting to remember the awful holiday, the massive arguments and the times you felt totally unsupported.

A couple of months ago I was driving along, enjoying the late summer sun (the teeny bit we had!), radio blasting, windows right down, when 'our song' came on. Not the Elton John version but the one song an ex and I had shared (admittedly with one ex it was old EJs funnily enough). Any how as my mind drifted briefly to what was now long gone I stopped at traffic lights. Glancing up fate was clearly having a laugh when said ex of 'our song' was stood there, waiting to cross the road and could clearly hear the radio blasting out off my car. There was a split second where neither if us knew what to do, I was certainly inwardly cringing, then his face broke into 'that' smile I knew so well. As he raised his hand to say hi and I acknowledged him back there was a moment of clarity. I have to admit sometimes that I don't want to see the good times. It's easier to be angry at someone than to be honest and say the happy memories still ache a little bit. Not in a wanting to get back together way, not even in an I miss you kind of way, just in a once upon a time I was your world and we were so close but I don't even know you now way. It is so hard in a break up to pin point exactly where something went so wrong. I genuinely believe that no one is blameless. It takes two of you to create happy memories and it takes two of you to argue and hurt each other. Within seconds the lights changed and like with the relationship, I moved on. Ready to face another chapter with the faith that love is a label that never goes out of fashion.....xX

Beach babe, cruise queen or a beautilious back packer....?

Not all who wander are lost -
JR Tolkien

As we choose to wander the path less often taken it can open our mind to new places, new people and (whether we we want it too or not) new thoughts and feelings. Rambling off the everyday track can force us to look at ourselves, our life's and reassess our own goals. It is a much discussed topic and it's widely believed that travel really does open the mind, and with an open mind we can be a little more comfortable and content with both ourselves and our lives. And ladies, who doesn't want that!

So what happens when you choose a change over a rest and that change comes in the form of an adventure to another place? Before you grab your passport, bank card, most of this seasons AllSaints and a hand full of the required currency you need to ask what kind of holiday are you after? Are you a beach babe, a cruise queen or a beautilious back packer? What do you want from your trip, what are you hoping to achieve and what matters to you? There is so much choice and it can all get a little overwhelming. Who do you go with? When do go? If only we were still children and our parents booked us on to the family holiday, no questions asked!

The most popular has to be the beach break. Sun, sea, sand and lot of what ever else you want. Bikinis, diets and screams with the girls whipped up on demand, liberally sprinkled with drunken rows, sun burnt shoulders and sand in places there shouldn't be!

Then there are the cruising queens, and who can resist seeing so many places in such a short time. It can be a holiday dream, a tiny taster of lots of little things, all whilst enjoying the luxuries of a floating all inclusive hotel. Perfect if you are happy to watch the world as opposed to join in.....

And then there are the travellers. Those who are happy to throw a back pack on their back, throw caution to the wind and head off, often into the totally unknown. Maybe for the experience, maybe for the knowledge, maybe just for the sheer adrenaline rush or maybe it's a mix of all three. They don't mind missing the odd hair wash and the only certainty they have is when they return they will bring back the smelliest bag of wet clothes ever.... not pleasant!

I have to hold my hands up at this point and be very honest, I'm a total traveller. Ruck sacks full of dirty washing, dry shampoo and going weeks with a mani/pedi is completely fine by me as long as I'm having an adventure. Riding elephants through the ruins of a fort in Jaipur, eating the most amazing kofta in a roof top cafe in a shanty town in Rajasthan and tying strips of red string into tiny knots to make a wish at a flower covered shrine in Bharatpur are all part of an amazing experience. Who could forget whizzing though the streets of Agra late at night, screaming with friends and laughter as the tuc tuc you were in veered all over the roads, narrowly missing people, cars and cows...?! It's the people you meet, the stories you swap and the random conversations you sit up all night having sipping masala chai....

Now to be clear I am not judging anyone's holiday choices, but merely discussing my own preference which I feel, having experienced other types of holiday I can do. I'm not the kinda gal who feels I have 'seen' somewhere having stepped off a ship for a day trip with a guide (shock horror!) nor am I comfortable spending my evenings trussed up like a Christmas turkey eating 3 course plus meals with the nouveau riche on an over priced boat. My appalling short attention span prevents me from spending my days lying by a pool (I do LOVE that idea though) and the thought of pulling a random boy in a bar makes my tummy turn as does wearing nothing but a bikini all week. So there it is, I have the traveller bug and I fear it is terminal!

On my latest adventure I had the pleasure of having several hours to kill with a fellow traveller I had met along the way. Discussing that we felt like outcasts as normal holidays weren't our 'thing' he imparted these words of wisdom to me -

Travellers make up a very special 2%of people. They are loners who need to be free yet they are incredibly sociable and friendly.

His words touched me and as we went our separate ways I knew his works would stay with longer than our travels had lasted. That's the true beauty of travel, it opens our hearts and our minds to who we really are ..... xX

Thank you India...... xX

Thank you India,
Thank you terror,
Thank you disillusionment,
Thank you frailty,
Thank you consequence,
Thank you, thank you silence.
- Alanis Morrisette


There comes a time in a girls life when you just have to do what you have to do. Be it change jobs, move house, leave a relationship or find an adventure, sometimes something just has to give. The old proverb tells us a change is as good as a rest, so wether its a change or a rest you are after it can only do you good.

There is nothing worse than looking at your own life and realising it is like something from a horror film. As you stand there astounded at how you even got there, the winds of change begin to circle you and as your tummy flips with excitement you know it's time to look up at the crossroads you have found yourself at. With a deep breath it's time to step into this seasons Prada's, pack your trusted Mulberry, put on your favourite Bobbi Brown lipstick, head towards your happy ever after and that change you need.

So when we feel it's the change we need, what do we do? Write a todo this? Reflect on our goals and aspirations? Seek out inspiration maybe? Often it's a case of looking inside ourselves and going back to who we are. Which dreams have fallen by the way side? Which hopes had you given up on? And what truly makes you happy?

Now bearing in mind I'm more of a change than a rest kinda gal, with an addiction to anything that causes adrenaline to course through my body at a million miles an hour, it was roughly a year ago to the day that I woke up in my own nightmare and began to slowly sew the seeds of change. Fastforward 365 days filled with laughter, tears and soul searching and I find myself looking at an overstuffed ruck sack, an arm full of jabs and a well thumbed copy of the Rough Guide to India. So it's with excitement that I log off for a few weeks now, knowing that I'm living, not just talking about, the dream...... xX