Skin Deep....?

'Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve.' - Coco Chanel.



It happens to us all ladies at some point in our lives. For some it's our teens, some it's our twenties and for others our thirties or older. Stress makes it worse, diet can too, it's oily, it's dry and we spend hours covering it with make up! Yep ladies it's a skin thing!

In our teens it can be a battle with spots, acne and oily patches that look like a slick. We inch on a cheap make up brand, in any shade in an attempt to cover up as much as possible with little respect for our natural beauty such as freckles or scars. We all went through a phase where the heavier and thicker the eye line the better and wearing an interesting shade of red lipstick that doesn't suit us. At a time when all beauty essentials come from freebies on magazines and our make up bags are a wondrous place of mis matched items it's no wonder we look like clowns!

As we hit our twenties we begin to realise that quality rules over quantity. One premium brand foundation that is a flawless match (with out hiding your natural beauty) is worth more than the high streets 3 4 2 offers. We begin to think more about our skin care routines and what we put on our faces can impact not just us but our environment. We can get sucked into buying all sorted of products without really understanding what we need or what would be best for our skin. For most of us our twenties are a time for more settled skin and more of a healthy glow rather than an oily one but for up to 50%of women adult acne can still affect us.

Beauty magazines preach endlessly and tirelessly about the benefits of drinking 2 litres of water a day, eating a balanced healthy diet (no, chocolate doesn't give you spots, thank goodness else I'd be acne ridden for life!!) and whilst there is some method in this madness it would need a miracle to defy time for ever. For every two thousand frowns, it creates one brow wrinkle. Dehydration can cause fine lines and a hang over can make us look haggard! So what do we do ladies....?

As we hit our thirties the elastine in our skin naturally starts to reduce in line with the natural ageing process - sombering thought. It takes years to learn to love and respect your skin and when you do it starts to age, changing its needs again!

With this in mind I'm beginning to wonder if our skin is as much trouble or if not more trouble than a man?! If it's not grey and dull with dry patches , it's oily, troublesome and brings us out in a rash. Of course then there is the PMT, practically grown another head spot that stubbornly sits on our chin laughing manically for 2 weeks, whilst we try every trick in the book to get rid of it and sadly we all know a man like that! Luckily some tea tree oil and a facial gets rid of the spot, if only getting rid of a troublesome fella was as easy....

As I approach my thirties at an alarming rate my skin is something I have really started to think about. A switched my skin care to organic rice oil (it's amazing!!) home made products , I only buy premium make up products that suit my skin and I try to drink enough water to drown a fish but yet father time (typical bloke!) is one step ahead and as a pesky fine line has appeared around my left eye I have found myself booked in for micro dermabration. And whilst I can hear a debate beginning to rumble about growing old gracefully and blah blah blah I wonder how many of us would consider more extreme skin care routines to preserve their skin? Through my twenties I would never considered any think more advance or invasive than Creme de la Mer eye Creme but now the time is here, I'm totally unsure. Botox.... Will I or won't I......?xX

You live, you learn.....? xX

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
-Soren Kierkegaard

 Reflection is a funny thing for us girls. It is something we do a lot off and something we could probably have a PHD in! Looking back on what was is a way of helping us to move forward. To re address our goals, decide what our next move is to get there and who we want to get there with (or maybe do it alone). But most importantly we like to reflect on what we have learnt. But what is our obsession with learning something? Is a way to console ourselves when we have made mistakes, can we really recycle the past and dispense it as advice? Does that help? Do we look back over our shoulder at what might have been? It is very hard to not think about what might have been, when we are at the cross roads of life and unsure which way to go. Often we find ourselves wondering what we are doing, why we made that choice and why we chose a particular path. When the hardest thing and the right thing are the same which road do we walk down? At what point do we stop, readjust the sat nav of life and find a new direction?

From our degree choices (what do you do with a BA (hons) in Performing Arts??!) which seemed so important at the time, we make some big decisions without really knowing the ways of the world or who we are going to be. People, events and experience help to shape who we are and that person is so very different to our 18 year old selves.  We chose, at such a young age, career paths that stay with us for years into our future. It can be hard not to think how things would be different had we not chosen another career path. Is the grass greener on the other side? Should we risk it or is a bad day and we are needing another challenge?

What interesting is that our male counter parts appear to be able to walk away from relationships/jobs/ decisons without a thought and move on. Women on the other hand need to have learnt something. How many times have we sat with the girls, over copious amounts of wine, wondering, pondering the greater meaning of things and the decisions we have made. From jobs, to shoes to men to diets, we are over run with choice and consumed by the option we didn’t take.

The old proverb tells us to never regret a decision you have made because at one point it was something you wanted so much. So maybe you feel it was a bad choice, maybe you would do it all so differently next time and sometimes you wonder when lady luck will ever show her face, but that’s life. It will always kick you down, there will always be choices and decisions for us to make (many people have fought for us to be able to do that!) and there is nothing we can do to change what life wants from us. It’s a wild and exciting ride. Nothing can stop the scary highs or the (sometimes never ending) lows but what actually matters, what life is really about is the people who are there with you through those highs and lows. No one expects them to make it better or take away the stress or pain but they are there none the less holding your hand, walking in your 6 inch heels with you, offering support and kindness when we need it most.

I learnt many years ago that some times to get from A to B we have to go via many other letters in the alphabet. So as I look back and reflect on the decisions I have made (surprise surprise!) there are very few I regret. I have (and very much continue) to live, laugh, love, be spontaneous and follow my dreams with my friends and family by my side. Maybe I should have left dead relationships sooner, maybe I should have believed in myself more and maybe I should have not been so naïve at times but then if I hadn’t made these mistakes would I be who I am now? Sorry fella’s, I think us ladies are on to something here, you live, you learn…….! xX

The One That Got Away......?

‘You were mine, somewhere in time. I'll look for you first in my next life. There's always one that gets away.
The one that sneaks up on you,  that slips away.’ – Pink (The One That Got Away.)
It’s a strange how we remember our ex relationships. Some times it’s so rose tinted we wonder why we left, sometimes we can only remember the sad and awful times and sometimes we wonder why we even bothered or what we were thinking. There are relationships that we would live over and over again and those that we wish we had missed the fateful first kiss at which you fell for him. Somewhere between the lies, the pain and the disappointments you often wonder why came. How the fall from cloud number nine was so swift and yet so sudden you don’t even know how you got there.

But in every girls life there is one that was different. One man who you never stopped thinking about, no matter the distance or length of separation. The one who’s text messages and emails still make your heart skip a beat long after you have stopped communicating  There is the one ladies…… the one that got away. Maybe it was just one date, maybe it was a few, maybe it was a relationship or maybe it was something that had never even started but sometimes we just meet someone who touches us in a way no one else has done and that touch lasts forever. Somewhere in the back of our minds no one compares to what could have been and no one will ever meet that expectation. The bar has been set and some where sub consciously we measure every other date against that one.

We live in a time where, in one swift click we can delete an entire relationship history on any social networking site. We can delete text messages and pictures, even hard drives on laptops can be wiped clean and we can return each other’s belongings (if your ex is a half decent person at least he will). We can change our hair style, drop a dress size and be asked out by a dozen men. And yet despite all that there is no delete button for our mind, our memory or our emotions. For some reason, with that one person, there is every off and delete button except for the way we feel. As human beings we are designed to learn from our mistakes, but remembering those mistakes is rarely enjoyable and even less so when they involve reflecting on a close relationship. Lost love, heartbreak, and mating misfortunes powerfully impact our sense of self and wellbeing. Men seem to be able to say goodbye and move on, that is it they are done. The line is drawn and they don’t look back. Us women, on the other hand, seem to need walk away having learnt something, to have found a reason as to why this has happened and we are totally guilty of walking away, staring over our shoulders wondering what might have been.

It is so hard to not think about what might have been when we feel we have snatched a glimpse of something that could be. But is it that it? Had true love ran its course would the one who got away have turned out just like the others before him? Maybe that’s what the one who got away teaches us, to grab that moment and not let it go. To fight any feelings of playing it safe and to be following our hearts instead. To be free, feel the fear and do it anyway, at least that we will know and the questions answered.

As I reflect on the one that I feel got away, I have to be honest now that I do remember him with a fond smile, I occasionally recall our one (amazing) date on a very drunken night with friends and I have often thought about what might have been. I have no idea today if he is single or taken, I have little knowledge now of his job or where about and I have no idea if we would still get on or feel any chemistry, But one thing I do know was if he walked back into my life tomorrow I am sure I wouldn’t want to pick up where we left off, as somewhere in my memory what was was perfect and for now I would like it to stay that way. After all isn’t it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all……..xX