Being your average late twenty something girl I have learnt, over the years, to keep my heels and my standards high. Being part of the ‘we can have it all’ generation I have found myself, like a lots of us, at nearly thirty having achieved lots of goals that I set myself. For me those goals included a good education (a degree and a post grad isn’t bad!), a city centre apartment, a car (all be it a tin can on wheels, but I still love you Little V!) a career I love, amazing inspirational friends, a wardrobe full of shoes (I like my money where I can see it) and an over flowing memory box of travel tickets. And I wouldn’t change a thing about it. Maybe it’s chaotic, there is a current prince charming vacancy and children still seem a way off but we can’t really have it all, can we?
Planning our careers, travels, shoe purchases and adventures are all things we can work on. Targets can be set and it is within our control to achieve them. But looking for love is something that is not so planned. Yet it is a mission that we all accept at some point in our lives, sometimes it’s for a quick fling, sometimes it’s for all the wrong reasons and sometimes we set out looking the elusive ‘one’. Whatever the mission and your expectations, you can guarantee some heart break along the way. The one thing we all seem to want though is the romance. That perfect first date where everything is magical, romance is surrounding us, flowers, candles, music and hearts are everywhere and prince charming is organizing it all. The kind of date that takes us four hours to get ready for, that requires an in depth knowledge of cutlery etiquette and where we expect to be swept off our feet, princess style. But what is it that sweeps us of our feet on that date? Is it prince charming’s humour? The closeness and warmth you are sharing? Or are we just swept away by the illusion of romance. Without the candles, hearts and flowers would this date still feel as wonderful? Is it the pressure of the situation causing our adrenaline to rush or the way we really feel? Some times it’s easy to be caught up in the glamour and Hollywood style romance and we forget what love is really about.
So whilst we are swept away in a romantic blur , it seems only fair to ponder the point, what do men think of romance? Is it a one way road that we girls hurtle down, head in the clouds, unknowingly alone whilst our desired prince charming quietly rolls his eyes? Needing to find an answer to this, I found myself flipping through my little black book of male friends, ex’s and others I have picked up along the way when my eyes fell on Mr X’s number. Bluntly honest, cuttingly witty and (I suspect!) a secret romantic he seemed to be the perfect man to ask. A quick random text and then a nervous wait for his reply. A few minutes later my tummy flipped as my phone flashed – New Message Mr X. Biting my lip, I peaked at the text. The answer, according to Mr X, was simple, – it’s in showing affection. It seemed such a beautifully raw and humbling answer, maybe that’s what love is all about? Maybe the Hallmark version we are constantly being sold and buying into is all an optical illusion of what it should be. Rather than what it is and what really matters. Romance can be a small as a cup of tea in bed, a cheeky text that makes your tummy flip, making you smile after a difficult day or kissing you when you have no makeup on. Simple things that don’t cost anything, they don’t set off fireworks and they don’t make headlines, but they are simple, beautiful and meaningful tokens of affection. The hard part is finding the man who would do that for you....
Maybe we can’t have it all, maybe we can. Are these conscience or unconscious decisions that we make along the journey. Given the choice would we choose to do again what we have already done? Would we change anything? Maybe prince charming will never arrive, maybe he is just around the corner or maybe he is already in our lives and hasn’t told us yet. Maybe that’s the beauty and wonder of love, we never truly know where it is and like any good story that’s what keeps us hooked.
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