Waiting for the karma train......?xX

Whatever you give away today
Or think or say or do
Will multiply about tenfold
And then return to you.

It may not come immediately
Nor from the obvious source,
But the LAW applies unfailingly
Through some invisible force.

Whatever you feel about another,
Be it love or hate or passion,
Will surely bounce right back to you
In some clear or secret fashion.

If you speak about some person,
A word of praise or two,
Soon tons of other people
Will speak kind words to you.

Our thoughts are broadcasts of the soul,
Not secrets of the brain.
Kind ones bring us happiness,
Petty ones, untold pain.

Giving works as surely as
Reflections in a mirror.
If hate you send, hate you'll get back,
But loving brings love nearer.

Remember, as you start this day,
And duty crowds your mind,
That kindness comes so quickly back,
To those who first are kind!

Let that thought and this one
Direct you through each day....
The only things we ever keep
Are the things we give away!

Words 2 live by

Namaste - Unknown Buddhist Poem.




It's a funny thing this karma malarkey ladies. Some times we think it's is with us and other times we swear it is against us! We reassure ourselves that what goes around comes around and we hope the all masterful karma is kind to us. But do we really understand it or has it become a twentieth century excuse we rely heavily upon?

Many religions reference karma in their teachings and beliefs. From Buddhism to Hinduism to Jainism....in fact all Indian philosophies, except off course Lokayats, believe in some sort of karma. By western definition it is the karmic law of Hinduism which we appear to most widely follow. Karma in hinduism maintains that every act done, no matter how insignificant, will eventually return to the doer with equal impact. Good will be returned with good; evil with evil. Since Hindus believe in reincarnation, karma knows no simple birth/death boundaries. If good or evil befall you, it is because of something you did in this or a previous lifetime. Therefore karma cannot be dictated by us mere mortals to decided who deserves what but instead comes from a greater universal system, that system of course depending on your own personal beliefs.

As we travel our journeys, cross new paths and discover new adventures maybe we should be mindful of the karmic ruling. Or maybe it is a non founded belief that we merely use to exact revenge when we feel something is unfair......?

Having spent time travelling in India I have experienced the Indian philosophy of kindness to others first hand. I was privileged to spend some time helping in a soup kitchen for the homeless whilst I was in Delhi. As I learnt to make chapattis, crouched on the floor surrounded by vats of a simple lentil Dahl (that was delicious!!) and amazing Indian women in beautiful saris it was explained to me that the kitchen gave 3500 people a free hot meal daily. This was made up of the lentil Dahl, a chapatti and a very sweet rice pudding type dish. There was no charge for this meal but one simple rule. No matter who you are, from a maharaja to a pauper, every one ate together, on the floor, as we are all equal. What could be more beautiful than that?

But, ladies, if you do believe in karmic revenge the main thing to remember before brandishing the karma stick is that there are always two sides to every story. For every ying there is a yang. No one is perfect and there is no reaction without a previous action to start it. So before you believe everything you hear open up your mind and heart a teeny tiny bit and consider this. If you feel karma has been unkind to you and favourable (unfairly you believe) to another, ask yourself why. Because maybe, just maybe if you look deep enough for long enough you will see that the favourable karma has maybe gone to the girl who has suffered the longest and hardest, you just didn't see it. Maybe you feel you deserve something, maybe you believe karma should give someone the hell deserve but who are you to decide (and you should do a little reading as to the meaning of karma!) Because some times it's about standing tall with all the style and grace you can muster and remember that we are all equal. We will all rise and all fell the pain of a fall, so regardless of your karmic believes maybe the lesson is to treat every body equal and let the universe do its job.........xX

#NationalTextYourExDay .....

So ladies, picture the scene. It is a normal Tuesday morning, you get up, grab a quick shower, throw a dress and heels on for work, with a warming cuppa in hand you take a minute or two for a cheeky quick flick threw Twitter. Nothing shocking about that at all. Until today that is. Today I saw what was trending. Yep ladies, you know the world has officially lost the plot when #nationaltextyourexday is being tweeted world wide!

Obviously having days to celebrate things is lovely. After all mothers day and fathers day can be a reason to celebrate your respective parents brilliance but general encouragement to text your ex....? Mmmmm!!

As I recovered from the giggles I have to admit it really did give me some food for thought and as I sat at my desk munching my morning porridge / nutella combo (amazing perfect winter breakfast!) I realised that this trend could certainly cause some waves.....

When I first saw the trend I have to admit that the first thing I could see in my head was every paranoid, insecure girlfriend spending the day panicking that THEIR man (you know the type) would receive a text from their (no doubt) fabulous ex. Whinging to any poor soul that is passing that ex's have no need to be in touch and if she does send a friendly hello text, said ex will quickly be chastised by psycho Sally as 'not being over him'. Yawn. Maybe said ex is soooo over him she is capable of being polite and friendly? And yes relationships break down but you can still be polite and/or even friends.

For some people it could be seen as a way of mending a rift. A way of putting all the anger, hurt and arguments of what was to bed. To wipe the slate clean and move on, and who can resist some closure? It could be an 'I'm sorry', a 'I wish you the best' or even a 'thank you for the good times'. One last (technical) look over your shoulder with a respectful polite good bye before you wander, heels and standards high, to pastures new.

As I pondered if I would indeed text any of my ex's today I realised that I don't actually need too. I'm in a good place with all of them and whilst we don't text, there are the occasional emails. Now these emails aren't in a 'hey how's you way' and there won't be coffee and catch up's anytime soon but there is still enough respect left to get in touch when we need to. Be it to say 'congratulations on your engagement', 'I'm so sorry to hear your loved one has passed away' or even 'your brake light is out' (what can I say, I'm a nice girl!). None of these acts of kindness mean that I'm holding on to something lost, just more of a sign I can smile at what was and be respectfully polite to what is now. And speaking of the now, when it comes to texting some one today, it wont be my ex. It will be texts to the many wonderful people that I hope will feature in my future. Anyone want to get #nationaltextsomeoneamazing trending tomorrow....? xX

Being A Domestic Goddess.....?

Whether we love or hate it, deprive ourselves or gorge ourselves on it, avoid it or are consumed by thoughts of it, our relationship with food is a funny one. We spend a large portion of our salary on it, we make lists about it and we day dream about it.

Given the times we live in you don't have to look far to find copious amount of information (some correct, others less so) around eating disorders. From anorexia, bulimia, body dismorphia , obesity and mixed complex diagnoses - the world is no longer in the dark to the complex and destructive relationships we can have with food. Food is as essential to our existence as the air we breath, the water we drink and the sleep we have nightly yet we use it and abuse it without much thought for its value. It's as comforting and fundamental as the love we are surrounded by and yet can destroy us if we let it.

Whilst food can be our enemy it can also be part of our relationships and memories. The cup of tea, generous slice of lemon cake and tissues pushed in front of you as the tears flow by your mum. The bacon sandwiches, warming cups of tea, snuggled up on cold winter mornings with a certain someone. The family chattering loudly over each other as the signature dishes are served (for us its the motherships chicken basque and pavlova, all homemade. She is THE meringue queen!). The icy champagne glasses clink in celebration between sisters at their success and the smell of fresh coffee and cake as a friend shares her wonderful news, all amazing memories.

As I sit here writing this blog I am eating. This is very normal for me. The eat, type cycle helps, well I think! So far for this blog I have consumed some sushi, a home made strawberry smoothie, an apple and a cookie from a batch a friend baked me. As I munch and reflect on my relationship with food I have to admit that food is a funny one to me. I love and hate it in equal measures. I've controlled it, manipulated it and demanded more of it than it can ever give. I've used it to fuel me and to comfort me. I've given with it and I've deprived myself to go with out it and yet despite the role it has played in learning to love my body, I have so many wonderful memories of food. Whether I'm eating it, making it or lusting (yes literally) after it I am a total foodie (even got that one trending on Twitter!!) I love nothing more than spending a day baking, cooking and marinating. I love the giving to family and friends who wait hungrily, forks raised in anticipation of what ever delight may be coming out of the kitchen next. I love the catharticness of the stirring, blending and mixing, the reassuring quiet hum of the oven and the fragrant smell filling your soul. Now I'm not claiming to be a domestic goddess (although I have been jokingly called the Nigella of the North, but maybe people are referring to other assets?!) and I'm certainly no GBBO potential candidate (that would be my incredibly talented sister) but I love the way food brings people together. The laughter, the tears and problems solved over a delicious treat. This isn't to say I have haven't had some epic fails along the way but these have made some of the funniest memories. The time I made sundried tomato hummus so solid no one could dip into it, the mince pies I accidentally cremated and attempted to serve covered in cream one boxing day and the time the pancake stuck on the ceiling..... All relative disasters but the best part of the memory of all these adventures is the giggles from the beautiful people whom I was sharing them with. And maybe that's what this food game is all about, sharing. As the delicious delights are split between the people we love and they smile, full of treats, stories and memories made I'm inclined to think, what in life could be better? xX

Getting Over Before You Get Under......xX

Do you think of her when you're with me? Repeat the memories you made together, who's face do you see?

Do you wish I was a bit more like her? Am I too loud?, I play the clown,to cover up all these doubts.

Perfect heart, she's flawless!
She's the other woman,
Shining in her splendour,
You were lost,

Now she's gone
And I'm picking up the pieces,
I watch you cry,
But you don't see That I'm the one by your side......

- Paloma Faith

So what happens when you are a single girl about town, living the dream. Doing what you want, when you want, how you want. You have amazing friends, wonderful family, live your dreams to the full and the weekends are an adventure into the unknown that you can barely wait to happen and a potential prince charming unexpectedly pops up?

As with all men the timing is maybe rubbish, his white stead may be a little rusty and Disney certainly never mentioned that he may be initially verbally inept but never the less he arrives and your interest has been piqued.

So before you start down a potential. new and exciting path there a certain questions that need to be answers. Not about him ladies, but about you. Are you ready for this, is this what you want and are you really over the ex to get under a new man......?


No one wants the feeling that there are three people in your relationship – you, your man and the ex? Do you talk or email your ex a lot? Or maybe you have an unhealthy grudge, or you are preoccupied with what he is doing now? If any of this sounds familiar, it may mean that you haven't completely let go yet. And ladies this can work both ways, does this sound like your man.....?

1. The Waiting Game -
Okies so no matter how well a relationship ended or how angry you are at some one, bottom line is they take TIME to get over. Time to move on, break old habits and time to heal. There are hopes and dreams we have when we get into a relationship that we lose when we lose that relationship and it takes some time to get over those things. If you were together a long time you clearly need more than a couple of weeks before you are over the ex.

2. Crossed Wires -
When did you fall prince charming? Before the end of your current relationship? Is it just an excuse to end your current relationship. Or are you just telling him that in a bid to prove you are over your ex within days when really you are not? Jumping from on person to another doesn't give you any time on your own to process the demise of that previous relationship so you could run into the same problems as before. Once bitten, twice shy ladies......


3. The Extremity -
If you can only talk about your ex in extremes it is not a good sign you are over him. If you can’t say your ex’s name without gagging this is another warning you may need more single time. If you can't resist talking about him constantly, and he is either the most wonderful thing in the world or the most terrible thing in the world, you might want to question why. There are two people in every relationship and two sides to every story. Being honest ladies there is no way your ex was as wonderful or evil as you make out. You need to be in a place where you can honestly look back at both the good and bad times as well as admit what your own flaws, not just what theirs are.

4.Cutting The Ties -
Can you do it? Can you break the habit of contact? Can you stop looking at his Facebook page? Can you give him his belongings back? Are you still obsessively thinking about what was? Hanging on to anything that would ensure you have to be in contact? Or are you trying to hurt him to get a reaction? If so ladies, you know you need more time, more tears to be over him.

5. Obsession -
If you still want to know whats happening in his life, resort to asking his friends to look at his social networking pages and bear some ridiculous venomous need for revenge, now is not the time for a new man. Are you wanting to revisit places you went with the ex with your new man? Are you attracted to your new man because he is trying to be like your ex? If so ladies you are not finished, you haven't done your grieving.

There is a theory that it takes half the time you were with some one to get over them and this may or may not be true for you. Grieving a break up is a very personal thing that can only be done in your own time and style. For me personally I know I'm over some one when I can look back on both the good and bad times in a neutral way. I genuinely wish nothing but the best for any of my ex's, we shared some amazing times. So to let someone go when you know that they are not right for you is the kindest thing you can do. To set each other free so you can run with your dreams, dance with adventure and find that perfect person for you ..... xX

Don't look back in anger.....xX

Gracious goes the ghost of you
And I will never forget the plans and the silhouettes you drew here and
Gracious goes the ghost of you
My dear......

- Ben Howard.


The break up - Maybe you broke his heart, maybe he broke yours, but being honest the chances are you maybe broke each others a little bit. Break ups get messy and maybe the ex turned out to be liar, maybe he showed zero respect to you or even what you had, maybe you regret the part you played and whilst you have forgiven, lessons have been learnt and not forgotten.

But through the inevitable lies, tears and pain it can be hard to remember this was once a man who claimed to not just love you but adore you. Who wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Who hid gifts from your favourite beauty brand (Benefit for the record...) all over a hotel room for you as a surprise. Who came back from a lads holiday with your favourite Dior perfume just because he missed you, who admired, even respected you as a professional and who held you when you sobbed after a difficult day. The man who at one time could make you smile just by being him, who for just a period of time shared your dreams and hopes.

It's so hard to remember the good times when we are blinded by hurt and pain. No one wants to look back and remember the happy times you laughed together, the time you made sushi (and it went so very wrong you got very drunk instead), when he sent you flowers because no one ever had, when he decorated the bathroom as a surprise and the time he made your favourite breakfast in bed as a surprise. It's easier and more comforting to remember the awful holiday, the massive arguments and the times you felt totally unsupported.

A couple of months ago I was driving along, enjoying the late summer sun (the teeny bit we had!), radio blasting, windows right down, when 'our song' came on. Not the Elton John version but the one song an ex and I had shared (admittedly with one ex it was old EJs funnily enough). Any how as my mind drifted briefly to what was now long gone I stopped at traffic lights. Glancing up fate was clearly having a laugh when said ex of 'our song' was stood there, waiting to cross the road and could clearly hear the radio blasting out off my car. There was a split second where neither if us knew what to do, I was certainly inwardly cringing, then his face broke into 'that' smile I knew so well. As he raised his hand to say hi and I acknowledged him back there was a moment of clarity. I have to admit sometimes that I don't want to see the good times. It's easier to be angry at someone than to be honest and say the happy memories still ache a little bit. Not in a wanting to get back together way, not even in an I miss you kind of way, just in a once upon a time I was your world and we were so close but I don't even know you now way. It is so hard in a break up to pin point exactly where something went so wrong. I genuinely believe that no one is blameless. It takes two of you to create happy memories and it takes two of you to argue and hurt each other. Within seconds the lights changed and like with the relationship, I moved on. Ready to face another chapter with the faith that love is a label that never goes out of fashion.....xX

Beach babe, cruise queen or a beautilious back packer....?

Not all who wander are lost -
JR Tolkien

As we choose to wander the path less often taken it can open our mind to new places, new people and (whether we we want it too or not) new thoughts and feelings. Rambling off the everyday track can force us to look at ourselves, our life's and reassess our own goals. It is a much discussed topic and it's widely believed that travel really does open the mind, and with an open mind we can be a little more comfortable and content with both ourselves and our lives. And ladies, who doesn't want that!

So what happens when you choose a change over a rest and that change comes in the form of an adventure to another place? Before you grab your passport, bank card, most of this seasons AllSaints and a hand full of the required currency you need to ask what kind of holiday are you after? Are you a beach babe, a cruise queen or a beautilious back packer? What do you want from your trip, what are you hoping to achieve and what matters to you? There is so much choice and it can all get a little overwhelming. Who do you go with? When do go? If only we were still children and our parents booked us on to the family holiday, no questions asked!

The most popular has to be the beach break. Sun, sea, sand and lot of what ever else you want. Bikinis, diets and screams with the girls whipped up on demand, liberally sprinkled with drunken rows, sun burnt shoulders and sand in places there shouldn't be!

Then there are the cruising queens, and who can resist seeing so many places in such a short time. It can be a holiday dream, a tiny taster of lots of little things, all whilst enjoying the luxuries of a floating all inclusive hotel. Perfect if you are happy to watch the world as opposed to join in.....

And then there are the travellers. Those who are happy to throw a back pack on their back, throw caution to the wind and head off, often into the totally unknown. Maybe for the experience, maybe for the knowledge, maybe just for the sheer adrenaline rush or maybe it's a mix of all three. They don't mind missing the odd hair wash and the only certainty they have is when they return they will bring back the smelliest bag of wet clothes ever.... not pleasant!

I have to hold my hands up at this point and be very honest, I'm a total traveller. Ruck sacks full of dirty washing, dry shampoo and going weeks with a mani/pedi is completely fine by me as long as I'm having an adventure. Riding elephants through the ruins of a fort in Jaipur, eating the most amazing kofta in a roof top cafe in a shanty town in Rajasthan and tying strips of red string into tiny knots to make a wish at a flower covered shrine in Bharatpur are all part of an amazing experience. Who could forget whizzing though the streets of Agra late at night, screaming with friends and laughter as the tuc tuc you were in veered all over the roads, narrowly missing people, cars and cows...?! It's the people you meet, the stories you swap and the random conversations you sit up all night having sipping masala chai....

Now to be clear I am not judging anyone's holiday choices, but merely discussing my own preference which I feel, having experienced other types of holiday I can do. I'm not the kinda gal who feels I have 'seen' somewhere having stepped off a ship for a day trip with a guide (shock horror!) nor am I comfortable spending my evenings trussed up like a Christmas turkey eating 3 course plus meals with the nouveau riche on an over priced boat. My appalling short attention span prevents me from spending my days lying by a pool (I do LOVE that idea though) and the thought of pulling a random boy in a bar makes my tummy turn as does wearing nothing but a bikini all week. So there it is, I have the traveller bug and I fear it is terminal!

On my latest adventure I had the pleasure of having several hours to kill with a fellow traveller I had met along the way. Discussing that we felt like outcasts as normal holidays weren't our 'thing' he imparted these words of wisdom to me -

Travellers make up a very special 2%of people. They are loners who need to be free yet they are incredibly sociable and friendly.

His words touched me and as we went our separate ways I knew his works would stay with longer than our travels had lasted. That's the true beauty of travel, it opens our hearts and our minds to who we really are ..... xX

Thank you India...... xX

Thank you India,
Thank you terror,
Thank you disillusionment,
Thank you frailty,
Thank you consequence,
Thank you, thank you silence.
- Alanis Morrisette


There comes a time in a girls life when you just have to do what you have to do. Be it change jobs, move house, leave a relationship or find an adventure, sometimes something just has to give. The old proverb tells us a change is as good as a rest, so wether its a change or a rest you are after it can only do you good.

There is nothing worse than looking at your own life and realising it is like something from a horror film. As you stand there astounded at how you even got there, the winds of change begin to circle you and as your tummy flips with excitement you know it's time to look up at the crossroads you have found yourself at. With a deep breath it's time to step into this seasons Prada's, pack your trusted Mulberry, put on your favourite Bobbi Brown lipstick, head towards your happy ever after and that change you need.

So when we feel it's the change we need, what do we do? Write a todo this? Reflect on our goals and aspirations? Seek out inspiration maybe? Often it's a case of looking inside ourselves and going back to who we are. Which dreams have fallen by the way side? Which hopes had you given up on? And what truly makes you happy?

Now bearing in mind I'm more of a change than a rest kinda gal, with an addiction to anything that causes adrenaline to course through my body at a million miles an hour, it was roughly a year ago to the day that I woke up in my own nightmare and began to slowly sew the seeds of change. Fastforward 365 days filled with laughter, tears and soul searching and I find myself looking at an overstuffed ruck sack, an arm full of jabs and a well thumbed copy of the Rough Guide to India. So it's with excitement that I log off for a few weeks now, knowing that I'm living, not just talking about, the dream...... xX

5am @ LHR .......

So this is a random little blog post and it breaks with my usual blogging style, well it's not every morning you find yourself sat in Pret at 5am checked into a flight to Delhi! I'm not really what I would call a 'diary blogger' and my style is a bit more, well unique but whilst I have a long 4 hours to kill and no one in the UK is awake for me to natter to I thought I'd blog my thoughts and ramblings before I trot off to India (and you thought there would be peace and quiet!!). Before any one panics or starts jumping up and down don't worry, I'm not going all narcissistic on you, promise!! I don't want to bore you with the mundane minutes of my life, I am aware I am not that important and you are not interested in what I ate or what shade of nail varnish Im wearing (OPI passion incase you were wondering!!) Nor am I going to start 'modelling' pics of myself in the toilet (classy) to bulk out my droning on about rubbish. It is more a collection of my thoughts, feelings and maybe reflections as I start this adventure. Oh and some pics of the things I've seen on the way......


05.15 - Checked in via my iPhone, which they just scanned! Clever stuff! the adventure begins...

05.20 - Cleared security with nothing more than a frantic grope from a security guard, progress on my normal security/ check in traumas!

05.30 - Look for my flight on the board, no flight to Delhi is there. Mini moment of panic, realise as I'm flying via Vienna I need to look for there! Flight found, calmness resumed and the search for coffee begins...


05.45 - No Starbucks in T1 at LHR so make do with Pret, hell at this point coffee is coffee! Start thinking about Vienna. I read somewhere that Vienna was the second best city in the world. Wondering now where the first one is, have a sneaky suspicion it won't be Delhi..... Or Hull for that matter....

06.00 - Duty Free (officially known as world wide shopping or my biggest down fall....) has opened. This could be an epic fail. Resisting temptations of duty free isn't my forte. The MAC make up counter is winking at me, whispering my name, urging me to spend all my money. I'm standing firm, distracting myself with thoughts of butter chicken, kohl eyeliner and henna body art. It's not particularly working. A little look won't hurt, will it ...?

06.30 - Enjoyed a whole half an hour playing with pretty make up and chatting to a make up artist swapping tips. Resisted buying anything. The motherships parting shot as I left last night was 'avoid the Chanel counter in duty free Kate please. You DO NOT need another lipstick....' As I opened my mouth to reply I was an adult, I would buy what I wanted, she then followed it up with 'don't forget what happened in Prague, the plane won't wait for you, you know!' I abruptly remembered the incident involving a flight home from Prague, the Chanel counter and a nail varnish that I *NEEDED!* Even now when I look back I'm not entirely convinced that I needed it that much and it was worth the hassle it caused! Lesson learnt, I must depart duty free at least half an hour before my flight.....

06.45 - Beginning to wonder at what point I thought it was a brilliant idea to go to India. Alone. Whydo i think these things up?!! Dad's words of 'I will expect to get you back in a box' rattle round my head. Consider doing risk assessment on the situation. I wouldn't want to see the answer. Start to rationalise crazy thoughts via a support plan in my head. Distraction techniques are needed here. Realise I need to switch off form work. Head back to Pret in search of food for a distraction.

07.00 - Munching and pondering why I couldn't be happy on a nice 18-30's to Ibiza. But aweek in the sun, with barely dressed people copping off all over the place isn't my thing. Life would be easier and the motherships stress levels lower if it was. No, I'm heading to an impoverished 3rd world country, rife with crime and (I imagine) a hatred for small blonde English girls they may want to put in a box....

07.15 - Still in a total panic about if I packed the right clothes. Not in a 'I'm so vain and want to look fabulous way' more off a 'I don't want to be arrested for indecent exposure by inadvertently wearing the wrong thing' kinda way.


07.25 - Spend 10 mins worrying about dad getting home ok. Get a call announcing he is at McDonalds eating breakfast. He makes me promise to not tell the mothership he is having a double sausage and egg mc muffin but to say he is having porridge and fruit.... I agree knowing I wasn't destined for heaven anyway and hell is warmer. I'd probably also know more people there....

07.50 - Mad group of ladies dressed in full Victorian attire arrive. Can't work out if they are some strange hen weekend or if they just dress that way as a style. Totally intrigued. Trying to find a table to people watch as I'm not sure I'm pulling off nonchalantly leaning...

07.55 - Smile nicely at one of the crazy Victorian style ladies. She smiles back. Take a risk and ask politely why they are so wonderfully dressed. Barely able to contain my excitement at her answer my mind runs at a million miles an hour, had I found a cult vintage couture following...? Were they wearing original, restored garments...? We're they a walking exhibit from the V&A.....? My heart and smile sank when she politely explained that they were the 'Sherlock Holmes Society of London'. Fixing my smile in place, I listened intently (thank god for a BA in Perf Arts, occasionally comes in useful) for 10 whole minutes whilst she gushed about the group and what they did complete with an offer for me to join. I politely declined, explaining I was off to Delhi but maybe another time*......

*on the never ever

08.10 - Think about the friends I have currently dotted across the world and contemplate switching flights. Suddenly I'm wondering why I didn't choose Hong Kong, Thailand orNew Zealand. Even Florida or Holland. Some where I would at least know one person. Try and work out the time differences. They might be awake for a a chat....

08.30 - Start thinking about food (what's new) it's an odd thing but the moment I leave the uk I start to crave food you can only get here and that I rarely touch on a day to day basis. Ribena is a great example, can't remember that last time I bought some over here, put me on the East Coast of America and I all wanted some of the purple stuff! From vendors in Italy that sold hot pizza slices to eating pigeon crossed leg on the floor in Morocco to sushi in Shanghai to fresh caught bush beast ( NOT roast beef as i thought it was!) in Africa I am quite happy to try anything. The Chinese family sat opposite me appear to be eating dried fish skins, think I will stick to coffee this early on.....

08.45 - Flight gate finally appears on the board inducing a mini moment of excitement. 30 minutes to go!!!

08.47 - Sitting outside gate 16 when I realise I should be at gate 47. A nearby sign informs me that's a 30 min walk away. F**k!!

09.10 - Appears the running i have done has paid off, thrust paper work at the boarding officer, smile nicely, board the plane with crossed fingers I'm sat next to some one nice else it's gonna be a long few hours....!

Right I'm off now (really this time!!) love to you all and will keep you updated as I can :D xX

For mum

Age is a funny old thing. It plays tricks on us, takes things from us things we love and in turn kindly heals us when we need healing. Having recently turned the big 3-0 I'm certainly not old but definitely older. And whilst I've been consumed with thoughts of botox and how to avoid 17 year old waiters who ask you out (seriously, NO!) the world has of course been turning with much more serious matters.

It's only as we get older to we realise that whilst we worry about the small the stuff such as make up, clothes and having fun the big stuff can come along and kick us at any time. As we plod along our previously untrodden road we often encounter things we thought we would never have to consider, that are totally out side us or our control.

One of the most painful lessons, I believe, we learn as an adult is that people get ill, that we are not as invincible as we thought we were and neither are the people we love.

As an adult having to worry about a parent is a whole new experience (I realise I am fortunate here that I am an adult and not much younger) So as I sit here now, at 5 am, wide awake, worrying, thinking and pondering about my mum, I realise that this is what it must have been like for her 30 years ago. The enormity of the role change is overwhelming and it hits me just how much this amazing woman did for me. Whilst I'm doing this for a short period of time, she spend years clothing me, looking after me, feeding me, pacing up and down worrying about me (and I did cause her some worry!!)

I have seen her as a mother who taught me so much, who told me off when i came home from playing out covered in mud, with grazed knees and elbows, to the parent who through my teenage years be came the keeper of everything I wanted to do. My hems lines were always too short and tops too low cut, curfews were argued and angry words said. I cringe at the amount of times I slammed the door in her face, swearing I would never come back. I have seen her as a woman in her own right, with her own challenges and demons to deal with. The way she has inspired me professionally and her incredible, unsung artistic talents. She actually really has an answer for everything I'm sure!! Often I confuse her, we are so very different. She can't understand how I can function without an iron (or ironing board for that matter) my organized chaos drives her mad and I'm sure her favourite hobby is cupboard watch in my kitchen (whats wrong with having nothing in your fridge except wine...?!) But then she always says 'you can't keep the sun in a box' and just like that she gets me.

I'm not sure she has always loved my phone calls home with my brilliant ideas including and not exhausting
- I'm going to India!! On my own....
- I'm at the airport flying to Africa and realised I bought the wrong travel insurance. Africa isn't in Europe....
- I have accidentally put my car in a central reservation of the A1...
- I have just put a kitchen knife in the top of my hand, what should I do...?

My mum reassures herself I'm one of those highly intelligent people who have no common sense and I haven't the heart to break it to her that I'm not that. I'm actually neither.....

Venturing to the kitchen to get another cuppa I pass a mirror and catch sight of my reflection. It's a horror picture of puffy, pale skin, dark bag ridden sunken eyes and wild crazy lady hair but for today it doesn't matter, all I care about is her recovery. As long as she is ok, tomorrow a facial and some touché éclat will work a miracle that I can pay for, your health, well you can't buy that.....xX

Taming a Monster........

'Women must stop being jealous of their power and generously allow freedom and responsibility to others. The reward is harmonious families and society' - Delphine de Girardin


Ladies lets be honest, bluntly honest here. We can all look at ourselves objectively, we can praise ourselves for our achievements and berate ourselves when we don't reach the goals we have set ourselves. It's tempting to compare ourselves to others and this at times can be helpful, inspiring us to aim higher, be stronger and to learn more. But every now and again the age old green monster rumour pops his ugly, troll like head up. Now the subject of being jealous has interestingly cropped up in several conversations this week and what's fascinated me is it (for once) it had nothing to todo with men!! It's been about our relationships with each other....

The thing is ladies are we ever really jealous of any thing or any one? When we look at it deeply what has the next girl got that we haven't? What has she achieved that we haven't? We all fill our days with that what we want to do, our career choices are individual and our own. We have so many choices how to get there and we should be proud of how we did. Surely we should be pleased for other peoples successes? But why happens when some one turns it all a little bit sour?

We have all been guilty of consoling ourselves and our friends with the 'they are just jealous' line from time to time. It's a classics female coping mechanism, often when we don't want to see or hear the truth. But is some one ever really jealous of us or is it a comforting plaster we put over the truth they are telling? Do any of us think we are truly that fabulous some one would want our life's, warts and all?!

Every thing in life is a double edged sword and we would be naive to believe it was any different. Yes the next girl might look flawless, appear to have a perfect life but like all of us she will have things she would like to change about herself or her life. The thing is ladies we all in the same race. Some times we are ahead, some times we are behind but the race is long and we will all get there in our own unique way.


For me I know I'm a lucky girl. I have. achieved so many of my goals, love the life I live and I'm surrounded by supportive, inspirational people. But for those who scratch that surface know that along side all that amazingness are also my own demons, fears mixed with the odd broken dreams. And don't even ask me about men or cars, I'm totally cursed!! But the beauty of this (and what I'm trying to say) is that we all have areas of our lives that are a 10 and others that sometimes feel a minus 10! So when some one thinks you are jealous of their life i can only giggle. After all as a grown woman I can see through the facade and know that there is no point in jealously. Maybe you think you're ahead, maybe you think I'm behind but I can honestly say I'm happy in my life and if you can say that, well, you have already won first place.

Cinderella is just proof a new pair of shoes can change your life....xX

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

― Marilyn Monroe



Ladies which ever path we are walking down in life, be it smooth fun filled ones or bumpy, hard complex ones we should be able to do it with some class, elegance and style. But most importantly in the right shoes.....

Cosmopolitan magazine explains the psychology behind this shoe love phenomenon.....

'Buying new footwear stimulates an area of the brain's prefrontal cortex termed the collecting spot. "Shoes are a collector's item, whether women realize they perceive them that way or not," says Suzanne Ferriss, PhD, editor of Footnotes: On Shoes. Just think of how they're often stored artfully on shoe trees and shelves. "They're like sculptures," says Ferriss. As a result, collecting each type provides a mini-adrenaline rush similar to the satisfaction a stamp collector gets when he acquires a rare find.'

Sounds like a good reason to shop to me....!

For me my love affair with shoes started years before I had any idea of body concept, image or style. I was simply a 5 year old who was given a book. The book was called 'New Blue Shoes' by Eve Rice. This book, I blame for a 25 year (and going VERY strong) love affair with shoes. A simple story of a little girl who's mum takes her shoe shopping and all she wants is new blue shoes. Now this book isn't a classic or an award winning novel and I'm not at all saying it was literacy brilliance but it was totally relatable. Luckily for the mothership, despite being dyslexic and dyspraxic I was a strong reader so was quite happy to pore over the book time and time again, although to this day she still knows all the words! At school my favourite part of the academic year was September. Why? I got new shoes. Always from Clarks. And they always always caused an argument. Apparently diamond studded, slip on's with a (very mini) heel (who remembers magic steps?!) were not suitable for my 6 yr old self to wear to school.....

Shoes, to me, have so many living memories. They tell more adventures than all the photos, tickets Stubbs and cards we save ever could. From the £1.49 flipflops I wondered all over the slums of India in to the Prada heels I took a romantic stroll down the Champs-Élysées, Paris in, each pair tell a story. The Karen Millen killer heeled boots I wore on a surprise first date rock pooling at Robin Hoods Bay (yes I managed it with style and grace!)The UGG boots that kept me toasty as I explored down town manhattan, eating banana's for the holidays and bagels in central park and the LK Bennett ballet pumps I lived and died in as I explored the narrow winding streets of Venice. From Primark to Prada my shoe addict knows no bounds......


Interestingly some good interview (and life) advice is that an employer (or some one) can tell a lot about you by your shoes. It says a lot about a woman who can gracefully pull off a pair of slender high heels with out looking like a child playing dress up or resorting to wedges or shock horror, worse a kitten/mid heeled shoe, which brings me on nicely to my next issue....

Why are there so many ugly shoes?! Seriously some are violet crimes against the fashion police and whilst standing on tip toes to kiss your fella is cute in the yellow pages ad no woman in real life actually wants to do that! Croc's, kitten/mid heels and wedges should all be banished to shoe box 101 and never reopened.

There is a joke within my circle of friends that I can do anything in 6" heels and scarily it's true. I've kaylieghed, regularly drive, climbed 10 flights of stairs (there was a pencil skirt involved with that too!) baked, shopped and been rock pooling in my beloved heels, all with out any injury, proof you CAN do anything in high heels.

Walking in high heels, is a like walking the moral high ground. It takes time, class, grace and the support of some wonderful people. So whilst some people can choose to stamp last seasons Prada's at you as much as they want, it is time (for me at least) to look forward to celebrating with love and Louboutin's, and if they turn out to be one and the same, well that, like a real life Elle Woods, is just fabulous ..... xX

29+1=....?

As we attempt to negotiate our teenage years, sneaking to bars and pubs, inching on make up 3" thick and wearing our older sisters clothes, we were desperate for that elusive ID. The desperation to turn 18 was overwhelming and (when your birthday is at the end of the academic year like mine is) it can't come soon enough.

Our twenties, well they are a time of growth and discovery. We look for questions and answers as to who we are, what we want and how we are going to get there. From starting out our careers to developing our own style it can be hard to find our own individual way. It's a time where the leaders and individualists start to shine and some people sadly turn into lost sheep. We make relationship mistakes, we learn lessons about ourselves and we make goals for our future. We learn about our own styles (red lipstick really
Isn't for everyone!) and make the transition from a clumsy girl to an elegant woman who can proudly wear 6" heels. We chase our dreams all over the country and sometimes the works. Travelling really is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer.

So what happens when we go from being a twenty something to a thirty something? One argument is that age is just number, we are only as old as you feel (or the man you feel!) and as long as you have your health what else do you need...?

As we enter our thirties, a new and exciting phase in our life's I can't help but wonder if we can put the ghosts of our twenties to bed? Will the battle with our bodies ever end? Will the career ladder become easier or maybe less important? Will we find a direction we are happy with? Will we fall in love and find our happy ever after?

For me my twenties were very focused on my career. Working crazy hours,in demanding industries, at times juggling 2 jobs, my time was totally dedicated to following my dreams and travelling. So as I find myself looking at my thirties head on I can't help but wonder what I might aim for in the next ten years. Further career success, more travelling and another level of calmness and content I hope.

Maybe there hasn't been marriage or children for me yet, but I have something just as amazing and special. The most wonderful girl friends any one could want. Strong beautiful independent women who inspire me, love me , support me tirelessly and when they need to carry me. I have, unknowingly, spent my twenties finding the most amazing bridesmaids.

So maybe my girls are my happy ending, maybe I'm my own happy ending? Maybe prince charming will neve come, maybe he is just round the corner or maybe he is already in my life. All I sure off that is that the beauty is in the unknown, it really is a girls world .... xX

365 days ago......

Everything will be ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end! - The Exotic Marigold Hotel.

We journey through life speeding threw time on super highways, treading carefully when the road gets bumpy, making decisions at cross roads and resetting the sat nav system as needed!!

As we are sent things in life to try us , to push us and develop us it can often be hard to see the wood from the trees! From crazy highs and breath taking lows, we learn so much about ourselves, our relationships with others and about our goals. We can only try to walk away with dignity, our heels and standards a little higher for next time.

There is a lovely quote that states - No one makes a lock without a key. That's why you don't have problems without solutions. And there is a lot of truth in that. No matter how hard a time feels at some point we always look back, smile and know we are better for being there.

Challenges come in many forms, they can be work related, men related, family related, friendship related or even the relationship you have with yourself. They all need work, time, patience and space to grow. We can reflect with the girls, laugh, cry and wonder the hell why but the one big thing about life that is clear is that regardless of what's happening, it moves on.

With that in mind it was exactly 365 days ago today that my life changed.... Sometimes a big step is needed. We need to break free from what is holding us back and fly free. To grab our dreams and follow them, not just talk about them. To not cry ourselves to sleep but to wake up with a smile ready to face the world (and for the days that is hard I swear by the miracle that is YSL Touché Éclat and a Starbucks!) As I chatted with the girls last weekend over beers, burgers and festival fun, I realised just how far we had all come in those 365 days. Goals have been reached and further ones had been made, wishes had come true, there has been successes and learning curves, babies had safely arrived and broken hearts had healed. As for my heart, well, I'm proud of it. It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow still works! Somewhere between the friendships, the tears and the laughter we have all survived and thrived with passion and elegance, here, is to the next 365 and what ever adventures they bring! xX

Skin Deep....?

'Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve.' - Coco Chanel.



It happens to us all ladies at some point in our lives. For some it's our teens, some it's our twenties and for others our thirties or older. Stress makes it worse, diet can too, it's oily, it's dry and we spend hours covering it with make up! Yep ladies it's a skin thing!

In our teens it can be a battle with spots, acne and oily patches that look like a slick. We inch on a cheap make up brand, in any shade in an attempt to cover up as much as possible with little respect for our natural beauty such as freckles or scars. We all went through a phase where the heavier and thicker the eye line the better and wearing an interesting shade of red lipstick that doesn't suit us. At a time when all beauty essentials come from freebies on magazines and our make up bags are a wondrous place of mis matched items it's no wonder we look like clowns!

As we hit our twenties we begin to realise that quality rules over quantity. One premium brand foundation that is a flawless match (with out hiding your natural beauty) is worth more than the high streets 3 4 2 offers. We begin to think more about our skin care routines and what we put on our faces can impact not just us but our environment. We can get sucked into buying all sorted of products without really understanding what we need or what would be best for our skin. For most of us our twenties are a time for more settled skin and more of a healthy glow rather than an oily one but for up to 50%of women adult acne can still affect us.

Beauty magazines preach endlessly and tirelessly about the benefits of drinking 2 litres of water a day, eating a balanced healthy diet (no, chocolate doesn't give you spots, thank goodness else I'd be acne ridden for life!!) and whilst there is some method in this madness it would need a miracle to defy time for ever. For every two thousand frowns, it creates one brow wrinkle. Dehydration can cause fine lines and a hang over can make us look haggard! So what do we do ladies....?

As we hit our thirties the elastine in our skin naturally starts to reduce in line with the natural ageing process - sombering thought. It takes years to learn to love and respect your skin and when you do it starts to age, changing its needs again!

With this in mind I'm beginning to wonder if our skin is as much trouble or if not more trouble than a man?! If it's not grey and dull with dry patches , it's oily, troublesome and brings us out in a rash. Of course then there is the PMT, practically grown another head spot that stubbornly sits on our chin laughing manically for 2 weeks, whilst we try every trick in the book to get rid of it and sadly we all know a man like that! Luckily some tea tree oil and a facial gets rid of the spot, if only getting rid of a troublesome fella was as easy....

As I approach my thirties at an alarming rate my skin is something I have really started to think about. A switched my skin care to organic rice oil (it's amazing!!) home made products , I only buy premium make up products that suit my skin and I try to drink enough water to drown a fish but yet father time (typical bloke!) is one step ahead and as a pesky fine line has appeared around my left eye I have found myself booked in for micro dermabration. And whilst I can hear a debate beginning to rumble about growing old gracefully and blah blah blah I wonder how many of us would consider more extreme skin care routines to preserve their skin? Through my twenties I would never considered any think more advance or invasive than Creme de la Mer eye Creme but now the time is here, I'm totally unsure. Botox.... Will I or won't I......?xX

You live, you learn.....? xX

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
-Soren Kierkegaard

 Reflection is a funny thing for us girls. It is something we do a lot off and something we could probably have a PHD in! Looking back on what was is a way of helping us to move forward. To re address our goals, decide what our next move is to get there and who we want to get there with (or maybe do it alone). But most importantly we like to reflect on what we have learnt. But what is our obsession with learning something? Is a way to console ourselves when we have made mistakes, can we really recycle the past and dispense it as advice? Does that help? Do we look back over our shoulder at what might have been? It is very hard to not think about what might have been, when we are at the cross roads of life and unsure which way to go. Often we find ourselves wondering what we are doing, why we made that choice and why we chose a particular path. When the hardest thing and the right thing are the same which road do we walk down? At what point do we stop, readjust the sat nav of life and find a new direction?

From our degree choices (what do you do with a BA (hons) in Performing Arts??!) which seemed so important at the time, we make some big decisions without really knowing the ways of the world or who we are going to be. People, events and experience help to shape who we are and that person is so very different to our 18 year old selves.  We chose, at such a young age, career paths that stay with us for years into our future. It can be hard not to think how things would be different had we not chosen another career path. Is the grass greener on the other side? Should we risk it or is a bad day and we are needing another challenge?

What interesting is that our male counter parts appear to be able to walk away from relationships/jobs/ decisons without a thought and move on. Women on the other hand need to have learnt something. How many times have we sat with the girls, over copious amounts of wine, wondering, pondering the greater meaning of things and the decisions we have made. From jobs, to shoes to men to diets, we are over run with choice and consumed by the option we didn’t take.

The old proverb tells us to never regret a decision you have made because at one point it was something you wanted so much. So maybe you feel it was a bad choice, maybe you would do it all so differently next time and sometimes you wonder when lady luck will ever show her face, but that’s life. It will always kick you down, there will always be choices and decisions for us to make (many people have fought for us to be able to do that!) and there is nothing we can do to change what life wants from us. It’s a wild and exciting ride. Nothing can stop the scary highs or the (sometimes never ending) lows but what actually matters, what life is really about is the people who are there with you through those highs and lows. No one expects them to make it better or take away the stress or pain but they are there none the less holding your hand, walking in your 6 inch heels with you, offering support and kindness when we need it most.

I learnt many years ago that some times to get from A to B we have to go via many other letters in the alphabet. So as I look back and reflect on the decisions I have made (surprise surprise!) there are very few I regret. I have (and very much continue) to live, laugh, love, be spontaneous and follow my dreams with my friends and family by my side. Maybe I should have left dead relationships sooner, maybe I should have believed in myself more and maybe I should have not been so naïve at times but then if I hadn’t made these mistakes would I be who I am now? Sorry fella’s, I think us ladies are on to something here, you live, you learn…….! xX

The One That Got Away......?

‘You were mine, somewhere in time. I'll look for you first in my next life. There's always one that gets away.
The one that sneaks up on you,  that slips away.’ – Pink (The One That Got Away.)
It’s a strange how we remember our ex relationships. Some times it’s so rose tinted we wonder why we left, sometimes we can only remember the sad and awful times and sometimes we wonder why we even bothered or what we were thinking. There are relationships that we would live over and over again and those that we wish we had missed the fateful first kiss at which you fell for him. Somewhere between the lies, the pain and the disappointments you often wonder why came. How the fall from cloud number nine was so swift and yet so sudden you don’t even know how you got there.

But in every girls life there is one that was different. One man who you never stopped thinking about, no matter the distance or length of separation. The one who’s text messages and emails still make your heart skip a beat long after you have stopped communicating  There is the one ladies…… the one that got away. Maybe it was just one date, maybe it was a few, maybe it was a relationship or maybe it was something that had never even started but sometimes we just meet someone who touches us in a way no one else has done and that touch lasts forever. Somewhere in the back of our minds no one compares to what could have been and no one will ever meet that expectation. The bar has been set and some where sub consciously we measure every other date against that one.

We live in a time where, in one swift click we can delete an entire relationship history on any social networking site. We can delete text messages and pictures, even hard drives on laptops can be wiped clean and we can return each other’s belongings (if your ex is a half decent person at least he will). We can change our hair style, drop a dress size and be asked out by a dozen men. And yet despite all that there is no delete button for our mind, our memory or our emotions. For some reason, with that one person, there is every off and delete button except for the way we feel. As human beings we are designed to learn from our mistakes, but remembering those mistakes is rarely enjoyable and even less so when they involve reflecting on a close relationship. Lost love, heartbreak, and mating misfortunes powerfully impact our sense of self and wellbeing. Men seem to be able to say goodbye and move on, that is it they are done. The line is drawn and they don’t look back. Us women, on the other hand, seem to need walk away having learnt something, to have found a reason as to why this has happened and we are totally guilty of walking away, staring over our shoulders wondering what might have been.

It is so hard to not think about what might have been when we feel we have snatched a glimpse of something that could be. But is it that it? Had true love ran its course would the one who got away have turned out just like the others before him? Maybe that’s what the one who got away teaches us, to grab that moment and not let it go. To fight any feelings of playing it safe and to be following our hearts instead. To be free, feel the fear and do it anyway, at least that we will know and the questions answered.

As I reflect on the one that I feel got away, I have to be honest now that I do remember him with a fond smile, I occasionally recall our one (amazing) date on a very drunken night with friends and I have often thought about what might have been. I have no idea today if he is single or taken, I have little knowledge now of his job or where about and I have no idea if we would still get on or feel any chemistry, But one thing I do know was if he walked back into my life tomorrow I am sure I wouldn’t want to pick up where we left off, as somewhere in my memory what was was perfect and for now I would like it to stay that way. After all isn’t it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all……..xX

Whats new (copy) cat....?

Ladies we have all had that friend inhigh school, you know, the one who loved your Tammy Girl dress so much and thenturned up the next day wearing the exact same one, she was the girl who fanciedthe boy you did and had no shame in getting in there first to kiss him, whilstwearing your favorite lip balm.  Shestopped eating meat when you made the choice to be vegetarian despite hatingall vegetables and she painted her room pink when you did (complete withmatching New Kids on the Block poster!) Now dealing with a copycat friend whenyou are twelve is difficult, so how do you do it as an adult? Yep, sadly ladiesthe end of our teenage years does not necessarily mean the end of the copy cat girl.

The old proverb teaches us thatimitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but feeling like someone has stolenyour identity can be annoying and frustrating. Of course we all think,and are actively encouraged to be, unique and original. Yet while this is true,there are always going to be other people who share our interests, ideals and ideas.In fact some of our greatest relationships are built on common interests; I metone of my loveliest, closest friends bonding over a mutual love of Jo Malone ona hen weekend. And of course we met people who inspire us, expose us to thingswe had not previously seen and this does change and shape who we are.  The point is, there’s a line between merelyusing someone as a life style inspiration, and going all single-white-female. Youknow she’s bordering on full-blown clone when she has adopted not only yourblog style, she has no shame in spouting off your opinions and passions as ifthey were her own, she copies your hash tags on Twitter and suddenly become ayoga-enthusiast overnight as well as trying to give ill informed advice on yourareas of specialism and adopts your life philosophy as her own. If this soundsfamiliar, sorry to say ladies, you have single white female on your hands.

The awkward part is when friends andfamily start to notice that you have a permanent shadow who is copying you. Howdo you explain it? It takes a while to notice yourself as no one is that egotisticalto think they have a stalker/copycat issue initially. But slowly and surely theevidence builds up so you even deny it to yourself.You could try to take this as an opportunity to change things is your own life,to try new looks or style choices, to find other interests, to create a newadventure or to experiment with new life philosophies.   If shestarts to copy these, it is a definite that you have indeed picked yourself upa full-fledged copycat.

The real frustration comes from thatdespite dropping a million and one hints the copycat just doesn’t seem to getit! You can try being blunt with her and yet she appears incapable of findingher own set of thoughts and opinions. Obviously you could just try and acceptthe fact that you clearly have such amazing, taste and style, that someonewants to be exactly like you whilst keeping your fingers crossed the copycatwill eventually grow bored of you and start picking up inspiration elsewhere,just keep your fingers crossed she doesn’t move on to your bestie for her next inspirationfix!

At the end of the day I am not one oflifes haters and I try to never look back in anger, I believe in karma, what you give is what you get returned. I truly wish people only happiness in their lives. I know a copycatcan't help being a copycat. She might have low self-esteem, have problemstrusting her own instincts, or has maybe grown up being a sheep,and is still to find who she is.  Whateverthe case, it's difficult to have any respect for a person who depends on youand your ideas to shape who she is and her life. So, for me, whilstyou can copyright your blog (mine is!) it is a shame you can’t copyright yourlife to. So for me it is time to pull the plug on this copy machineand let this chapter close……..xX

Stopping to Smell the Roses.......

Ladies imagine the scene (as I am sure you can very well!) you get in from a busy day, you have been in back to back meetings, your lunch is still half eaten in the foot well of your car, the cup of tea a colleague kindly made you at 9am that morning is still sat there, cold and untouched, your phone is flashing with unreturned calls and texts and you have committed yourself to doing some one a favour tonight, which you honestly don’t mind doing and want to do but how do you fit it all in. This is all without giving time to our beloved other half and the little ones! The thing is sometimes life is moving so fast we don't even know what's good for us. Can we ever stop and smell the roses? Or are we living life at a million miles an hour and have no idea how to hit the brakes? Are we unknowingly spiriling out of control, doing too much and spreading ourselves to thin? Are we encouraged so often to say yes more, to regret the things we have done as opposed to the ones that we haven’t, that we are doing it all and not stopping to appreciate it? Between an average 40+ hours working week, friends, family and relationships where is the 'me' time we so badly need? As women, we actively encourage and inspire each other to have it all. To live wild and free yet do it carrying all the daily responsibilities that we have taken on. That’s quite a huge ask of any one.

Interestingly, men on the other hand, don’t appear to have this problem. They can get home from work, dinner will be on the table (thanks to us) then it is a quick shower and change before giving the xbox / friends/ football some much deserved attention! Yet we are running around in Kurt Geiger’s finest sky scrapper high heels, All Saints pencil skirt and Chanel lipstick (unsmudged) doing ten things at once. How do they do it….?

For most ladies ‘me time’ involves some serious internet retail therapy (no time to go to real life shops and the mirrors are so unflattering!) some time with Sky+ and no alarm clock screaming at us at 6am. But sometimes, for most of us, the hardest thing is to switch off and take some time out. To put our phone on silent, make a do list of we want to do and decline the social invitations we are swamped with.

Life (well the Indian consulate and is crazy slow processing system) has recently forced me to take some time off. A first in my world really as I am not a sit still and talk about the dream kinda gal. But much more of a grab life by both hands, enjoy the ride and live the dream type of person. So a week off with nothing to accept wait for India to let me in came as quite a shock to the system! The first few days were a little confusing with no work and no massive urgent commitments to attend to, I felt like I was at University again. But slowly I got used to it and began to stop and smell the roses. I baked cakes, shopped until I dropped, had pamper sessions, watched films, did more yoga and running than usual and ate, a lot, with no calorie counting. The freedom was incredible. So as I reflected on my week off I realised the true pleasure in all this. The true pleasure in my time off has been in being able to see my loved ones enjoyment in sharing these experiences. I can’t imagine baking a cake and having no friends to dig in with their forks eagerly poised before it is even out of the oven or to enjoy the stillness of a swim and sauna session without one off your besties joining you. What is the point in baking cakes or buying new dresses if there is no one to share them with? So as I take a deep breath, put on my favourite Bobby Brown lip-gloss, slip on my highest Office heels, square my shoulders and head back into the race of life I realised that so as long we have wonderful friends and family supporting and surrounding us we may be in that race but we have already won first place xX.

Every woman needs a man who will ruin her lipstick, not her mascara ( @Benefit_UK_IRE #mascarathonuk) xX

It's a well known fact amongst us ladies that no man is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry. Which is great in theory and I know we would all love to find the perfect man who would do anything to make us happy, who would move mountains to be with us and would willingly do anything to make us smile (and no I'm not talking materialistically!!).  For the most part, we can sort of agree that, our boyfriends/husbands are generally ok. Yes they might forget things you consider important (birthdays, anniversaries and milk on the way home), yes they might be blind to any tasks that need doing (house work, DIY, car related type things) and yes they come home drink, rambling rubbish, dropping kebab everywhere and ranting about nothing. And, no, they don't understand our love for shoes/make up /hand bags or have any insight into why we feel the need to take so long to get ready. But essentially they will listen to us going on, make us a cup of tea when we get home at the end of a hard day, make an effort to spend time getting to know our friends and support us no matter what. Admittedly when your cleaning up spilt kebab, fetching glasses of water to soothe the hangover and pretending to listen to what ever they are going on about whilst tripping over their XBox it can be hard to remember that essentially underneath all this is a lovely, decent man, who cares very much. But we know he is.... Of course there will be arguments, disagreements and times when you just don't get on (no its NOT permanent PMT boys!).  It is well documented by psychologists that the art of a heated discussion is in fact good for a relationship. To be able to develop a skill set where abouts you can talk to your partner, calmly, put you point across and not just place blame is a very positive thing. This in turn can make your relationship stronger and bring you much closer together.  But sadly for 1 in 4 women this goes too far, and they will experience domestic violence over their lifetimes and between 6-10% of women will suffer domestic violence in a given year (Council of Europe, 2002). The subject of Domestic Violence is a some what controversial one. Much of what happens (as with all abuse) goes on behind closed doors. Out of sight tragically means, for most, out of mind. The facts in black and white are shocking enough in themselves and make for uncomfortable reading.  Two women are killed every week in England and Wales by a current or former partner (Homicide Statistics, 1998) and one woman is killed every three days. Domestic violence has a higher rate of repeat victimisation than any other crime (Home Office, July 2002) and it takes on average, a woman to be assaulted 35 times before her first call to the police (Jaffe, 1982). Every minute police in the UK receive a domestic assistance call – yet only 35% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police (Stanko, 2000 & Home Office, 2002) The 2001/02 British Crime Survey (BCS) found that there were an estimated 635,000 incidents of domestic violence in England and Wales. 81% of the victims were women and 19% were men. Domestic violence incidents also made up nearly 22% of all violent incidents reported by participants in the BCS (Home Office, July 2002).  Whilst the figures themselves are frightening the reality of domestic violence is even more chilling. It can come as physical, emotional, financial or sexual abuse, but more often than not is a combination of all of them. It strips a woman of her confidence, self worth and independence.  Statically speaking, very sadly, the impact of domestic violence will touch us all in our life times. It could be family, friends or even ourselves and the effect it can have lasts years after the scars have faded. Like all abuse the only way to end it is to challenge it, to ensure that it isn't brushed under the carpetbag or accepted as a social norm and most importantly that there are services in place to support women who need to access them.  So ladies put on your lipstick, grab the girls and support  @Benefit_UK_IRE #mascarathonuk via sponsorship and retweeting!!  *All information was gathered from www.refuge.org.uk who's website offer support and advice xX

Style is unique, to copy is cheap.....

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. C. S. Lewis In a world where we are constantly bombarded with information, images and suggestions it can be all a little overwhelming. Advertising is constantly selling us unreasonable images of perfection and inspiring us to aim for an unrealistic life. How do we find out who we are or what we want? How do we know what's true to us and what we are doing for others? In a world where any thing is possible it can be easy to loose our way. From the way we choose to live our life's to the way we choose to dress the options are unlimited.  Often from a young age we have ideas and aspirations of the person we want to be and what we want to achieve. From getting married and having children to career aspirations and couture lusts that only a promotion will ever see us achieve, we all set our sights somewhere in the stars. The one thing we all (well most!) of us want to be is original, have our own thoughts, our own ideas, our own styles and very much make our own unique decisions. To make our own unique story is definitely something we all work towards.   But sometimes ladies, and we have all had this, our originality is high jacked by a wannabe. Annoying and invasive at the best of times, insulting that they are stealing our ideas at the worst, some people just get lost on their way. Maybe it's a maturity issue and they just to take some time out to get to know themselves or maybe it's a type of flattery as you've inspired them that much they feel the need to imitate you, who knows! Obviously from time to time we are all inspired by some ones amazing sense of style, brilliant ideas or attitude to life but we should take it away, acknowledge the sisterly inspiration with respect and make it our own. Not just mindlessly copy and paste the fabulousness into your own life without any effort to put your own thoughts in, it's just rude.  As a little girl my main ambitions were a little odd and some what unconventional. At the age of nine I already knew I wanted to be a social worker, wear really high heels, do Angelica Houstons make up in the Rould Dahl film The Witches and travel the world with my best friend when I grew up. In terms of achieving goals you could say I have been very focused!! Following my dreams has always been something I have been passionate about and would always encourage others to follow theirs. No matter what I do I always try to improve, to find new ways of expressing myself, to keep looking for truth and originality. I believe that  originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself. Going back to you and knowing who you is can be one of the most important life skills you can achieve. So ladies, grab yours dreams to see where they lead to and the adventures they may make unfold. Know being individual makes you amazing and if a little wannabe insists on imitating you simply smile and know style is unique, to copy is cheap xX

Hard to get.....?

'I believe things happen for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually start to trust no one but yourself, & sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together' - Marilyn Monroe. After the heart ache of a break up has healed, the tears have stopped and you have got rid of all connections to the ex, the time comes when it's time to move on. For a while this seems almost impossible, how will you trust anyone again after that betrayal, how will you ever get naked in front of any one again after  the confidence shattering blows he pulled and will you ever be able to trust any one again? The thought of someone new coming into your life and having to get to know them again can seem so overwhelming at the best of times. But nothing could be truer than the age old proverb - time heals all. Each day gets easier and as the memories fade, the rose tinted glasses are put down and the pain goes away we can start to move forward.  Thing is, this brings a few new issues of its own. At the point we are over a break we are normally at our skinniest (the post break up diet is always proven to drop any excess weight) with a fabulous new hair style  and/or colour and great new shoes ready to face the world again. So as we travel along the road, planning holidays, working hard and spending time with the girls, some how or another we bump into a future potential prince charming when we least expect it. As the excitement of flirting washes over you, the nerves also start to grow. How do you play this? Can you flirt or are you making an idiot of yourself ? What's too much? Are you coming on too strong or playing it far too cold? It's a minefield and it's so easy to get lost in the whole thing.  It only takes a quick peek on line to see there are a multitude of books, websites and magazines that all claim to be able to answer these elusive questions. All offer advice and support for every type of singleton out there. But this is where is gets confusing and mis leading, from text back immediately to leaving it and playing hard to get the advice is endless, confusing and often mis leading. Add some well meaning friends contradictory advice and you have yourself one giant headache. Can you really second guess someone's motives? Can you predict what their response will be to your text? And at what point does innocent flirting become a game thats far too complex? As I sat with the girls, drinking vino and discussing our respective man issues, the subject of flirting and playing hard to get inevitably came up. For both those who had just met a potential prince charming and those who were wanting to keep the current one interested, debates raged on the best way to do it. Fear of coming on too strong seemed to be at the top of the agenda, whilst playing it too cool was also another worry (apparently there is cool, cold, ice queen and then me!! Constructive criticism eh girls?! Haha!) But it was the wise words of the beautiful Miss W that inspired me. She wanted to flirt and stay true to herself. Inspired by her strength and honesty I wondered if I did play it too cool some times? Maybe, maybe not but if I am I know I'm being true to me and making, not following my own rules. After all rules were made to be broken! xX

#B is for bailing, builders and botox....

We have all been there ladies, that moment you look across at your current other half, and realise with a sinking heart, you gotta go. Taking a deep breath, trying to focus and wondering what on earth your going to do and scrambling your thoughts together in an attempt to make them articulate. It's awful knowing your going to hurt someone you cared about and there really isn't a great way to do it, but do it we must if we feel that way.  The most important thing about a bail is to be sure of what you want and why. Its an easy thing to say in temper and anger when you hurt but almost impossible for your relationship to recover from even if it's said in the heat of the moment. Bailing, itself,  should be approached like a plaster. You can soak it, dress it up, slowly work around the edges or ignore it as much as you can but ultimately it's only going to happen in one short sharp motion, and it's definatly  going to sting. A lot! But how do you bail politely, honestly and with your dignity intact? At the beginning - So its been a handful of dates. He seems nice enough, you clearly find him attract but for what ever reason something just isn't clicking. Maybe its just little things now but you know in your heart this isn't going to go anywhere. Now this one is hard because he really hasn't done anything wrong and it would be easy to bumble long, hoping that at some point the feelings would come. Bad news is they never will, believe me, I've made this mistake! At this time, being so early in to this situation its entirely appropriate to send the polite but firm bailing text. Something fairly standard, a brief explanation that you don't wish to see him again and a reason why. This is important, if you don't he will persist to know why (we would be totally the same!) and always thank him for the time you had. Whatever you do don't just ignore him, we hate that and it's rude. Just a quick text and your both free to move on.  Past the beginning - Ooo sticky! After the first few dates it's really only polite to do this face to face. Mainly as a mark of respect to what you had. I would suggest his house (unless your living together of course!), then you can leave and he doesn't have to travel upset. Honesty is generally the best policy but there is no need to be really blunt. Don't forget we have all had our hearts broken at some point. Who has what, who owes what and who wants what discussions can be had at a later date. Yes, you will cry so ensure you have waterproof mascara and a pocket pack of Kleenex to hand. Tell a friend so you have support for when you leave because you will feel awful and be kind to you. Whilst it's hard remember you are in fact setting both of you free to find 'the one' and not holding each other back from that.  A few weeks ago now I found myself in this exact situation. I needed to bail 3 dates in. A 23 year old fine example of a proper man (aka a builder). The major problem was despite being  genuinely lovely, intelligent, successful and gorgeous, I just didn't feel a spark, typical! To be fair he treated me like a princess so it seemed only fair to extend that respect back. So as I explained my bail, he quietly took my hand, kissed my check and told me he thought it was shame. He thanked me for the fun we had and asked me not to be stranger. With that he politely turned on his heel and walked off in the sunset, hopefully to find his happy ever after. As he disappeared in to the distance he glanced over his shoulder and reminded me to change the lightbulb in the bathroom! A true gentleman to the final word. No rows, no nasty texts, no childish behaviour and no animosity. The tear I had held back escaped my eye, ran down my cheek and as it splashed my Kurt Geiger's he had long gone. Taking a deep breath, I had done it and survived. I had bailed on the builder, and as at nearly 30 I had dated a very hot 23 year old decided to shelf the Botox, at least for this year.... Happy days....xX