Hard to get.....?

'I believe things happen for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually start to trust no one but yourself, & sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together' - Marilyn Monroe. After the heart ache of a break up has healed, the tears have stopped and you have got rid of all connections to the ex, the time comes when it's time to move on. For a while this seems almost impossible, how will you trust anyone again after that betrayal, how will you ever get naked in front of any one again after  the confidence shattering blows he pulled and will you ever be able to trust any one again? The thought of someone new coming into your life and having to get to know them again can seem so overwhelming at the best of times. But nothing could be truer than the age old proverb - time heals all. Each day gets easier and as the memories fade, the rose tinted glasses are put down and the pain goes away we can start to move forward.  Thing is, this brings a few new issues of its own. At the point we are over a break we are normally at our skinniest (the post break up diet is always proven to drop any excess weight) with a fabulous new hair style  and/or colour and great new shoes ready to face the world again. So as we travel along the road, planning holidays, working hard and spending time with the girls, some how or another we bump into a future potential prince charming when we least expect it. As the excitement of flirting washes over you, the nerves also start to grow. How do you play this? Can you flirt or are you making an idiot of yourself ? What's too much? Are you coming on too strong or playing it far too cold? It's a minefield and it's so easy to get lost in the whole thing.  It only takes a quick peek on line to see there are a multitude of books, websites and magazines that all claim to be able to answer these elusive questions. All offer advice and support for every type of singleton out there. But this is where is gets confusing and mis leading, from text back immediately to leaving it and playing hard to get the advice is endless, confusing and often mis leading. Add some well meaning friends contradictory advice and you have yourself one giant headache. Can you really second guess someone's motives? Can you predict what their response will be to your text? And at what point does innocent flirting become a game thats far too complex? As I sat with the girls, drinking vino and discussing our respective man issues, the subject of flirting and playing hard to get inevitably came up. For both those who had just met a potential prince charming and those who were wanting to keep the current one interested, debates raged on the best way to do it. Fear of coming on too strong seemed to be at the top of the agenda, whilst playing it too cool was also another worry (apparently there is cool, cold, ice queen and then me!! Constructive criticism eh girls?! Haha!) But it was the wise words of the beautiful Miss W that inspired me. She wanted to flirt and stay true to herself. Inspired by her strength and honesty I wondered if I did play it too cool some times? Maybe, maybe not but if I am I know I'm being true to me and making, not following my own rules. After all rules were made to be broken! xX