For mum

Age is a funny old thing. It plays tricks on us, takes things from us things we love and in turn kindly heals us when we need healing. Having recently turned the big 3-0 I'm certainly not old but definitely older. And whilst I've been consumed with thoughts of botox and how to avoid 17 year old waiters who ask you out (seriously, NO!) the world has of course been turning with much more serious matters.

It's only as we get older to we realise that whilst we worry about the small the stuff such as make up, clothes and having fun the big stuff can come along and kick us at any time. As we plod along our previously untrodden road we often encounter things we thought we would never have to consider, that are totally out side us or our control.

One of the most painful lessons, I believe, we learn as an adult is that people get ill, that we are not as invincible as we thought we were and neither are the people we love.

As an adult having to worry about a parent is a whole new experience (I realise I am fortunate here that I am an adult and not much younger) So as I sit here now, at 5 am, wide awake, worrying, thinking and pondering about my mum, I realise that this is what it must have been like for her 30 years ago. The enormity of the role change is overwhelming and it hits me just how much this amazing woman did for me. Whilst I'm doing this for a short period of time, she spend years clothing me, looking after me, feeding me, pacing up and down worrying about me (and I did cause her some worry!!)

I have seen her as a mother who taught me so much, who told me off when i came home from playing out covered in mud, with grazed knees and elbows, to the parent who through my teenage years be came the keeper of everything I wanted to do. My hems lines were always too short and tops too low cut, curfews were argued and angry words said. I cringe at the amount of times I slammed the door in her face, swearing I would never come back. I have seen her as a woman in her own right, with her own challenges and demons to deal with. The way she has inspired me professionally and her incredible, unsung artistic talents. She actually really has an answer for everything I'm sure!! Often I confuse her, we are so very different. She can't understand how I can function without an iron (or ironing board for that matter) my organized chaos drives her mad and I'm sure her favourite hobby is cupboard watch in my kitchen (whats wrong with having nothing in your fridge except wine...?!) But then she always says 'you can't keep the sun in a box' and just like that she gets me.

I'm not sure she has always loved my phone calls home with my brilliant ideas including and not exhausting
- I'm going to India!! On my own....
- I'm at the airport flying to Africa and realised I bought the wrong travel insurance. Africa isn't in Europe....
- I have accidentally put my car in a central reservation of the A1...
- I have just put a kitchen knife in the top of my hand, what should I do...?

My mum reassures herself I'm one of those highly intelligent people who have no common sense and I haven't the heart to break it to her that I'm not that. I'm actually neither.....

Venturing to the kitchen to get another cuppa I pass a mirror and catch sight of my reflection. It's a horror picture of puffy, pale skin, dark bag ridden sunken eyes and wild crazy lady hair but for today it doesn't matter, all I care about is her recovery. As long as she is ok, tomorrow a facial and some touché éclat will work a miracle that I can pay for, your health, well you can't buy that.....xX

Taming a Monster........

'Women must stop being jealous of their power and generously allow freedom and responsibility to others. The reward is harmonious families and society' - Delphine de Girardin


Ladies lets be honest, bluntly honest here. We can all look at ourselves objectively, we can praise ourselves for our achievements and berate ourselves when we don't reach the goals we have set ourselves. It's tempting to compare ourselves to others and this at times can be helpful, inspiring us to aim higher, be stronger and to learn more. But every now and again the age old green monster rumour pops his ugly, troll like head up. Now the subject of being jealous has interestingly cropped up in several conversations this week and what's fascinated me is it (for once) it had nothing to todo with men!! It's been about our relationships with each other....

The thing is ladies are we ever really jealous of any thing or any one? When we look at it deeply what has the next girl got that we haven't? What has she achieved that we haven't? We all fill our days with that what we want to do, our career choices are individual and our own. We have so many choices how to get there and we should be proud of how we did. Surely we should be pleased for other peoples successes? But why happens when some one turns it all a little bit sour?

We have all been guilty of consoling ourselves and our friends with the 'they are just jealous' line from time to time. It's a classics female coping mechanism, often when we don't want to see or hear the truth. But is some one ever really jealous of us or is it a comforting plaster we put over the truth they are telling? Do any of us think we are truly that fabulous some one would want our life's, warts and all?!

Every thing in life is a double edged sword and we would be naive to believe it was any different. Yes the next girl might look flawless, appear to have a perfect life but like all of us she will have things she would like to change about herself or her life. The thing is ladies we all in the same race. Some times we are ahead, some times we are behind but the race is long and we will all get there in our own unique way.


For me I know I'm a lucky girl. I have. achieved so many of my goals, love the life I live and I'm surrounded by supportive, inspirational people. But for those who scratch that surface know that along side all that amazingness are also my own demons, fears mixed with the odd broken dreams. And don't even ask me about men or cars, I'm totally cursed!! But the beauty of this (and what I'm trying to say) is that we all have areas of our lives that are a 10 and others that sometimes feel a minus 10! So when some one thinks you are jealous of their life i can only giggle. After all as a grown woman I can see through the facade and know that there is no point in jealously. Maybe you think you're ahead, maybe you think I'm behind but I can honestly say I'm happy in my life and if you can say that, well, you have already won first place.

Cinderella is just proof a new pair of shoes can change your life....xX

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

― Marilyn Monroe



Ladies which ever path we are walking down in life, be it smooth fun filled ones or bumpy, hard complex ones we should be able to do it with some class, elegance and style. But most importantly in the right shoes.....

Cosmopolitan magazine explains the psychology behind this shoe love phenomenon.....

'Buying new footwear stimulates an area of the brain's prefrontal cortex termed the collecting spot. "Shoes are a collector's item, whether women realize they perceive them that way or not," says Suzanne Ferriss, PhD, editor of Footnotes: On Shoes. Just think of how they're often stored artfully on shoe trees and shelves. "They're like sculptures," says Ferriss. As a result, collecting each type provides a mini-adrenaline rush similar to the satisfaction a stamp collector gets when he acquires a rare find.'

Sounds like a good reason to shop to me....!

For me my love affair with shoes started years before I had any idea of body concept, image or style. I was simply a 5 year old who was given a book. The book was called 'New Blue Shoes' by Eve Rice. This book, I blame for a 25 year (and going VERY strong) love affair with shoes. A simple story of a little girl who's mum takes her shoe shopping and all she wants is new blue shoes. Now this book isn't a classic or an award winning novel and I'm not at all saying it was literacy brilliance but it was totally relatable. Luckily for the mothership, despite being dyslexic and dyspraxic I was a strong reader so was quite happy to pore over the book time and time again, although to this day she still knows all the words! At school my favourite part of the academic year was September. Why? I got new shoes. Always from Clarks. And they always always caused an argument. Apparently diamond studded, slip on's with a (very mini) heel (who remembers magic steps?!) were not suitable for my 6 yr old self to wear to school.....

Shoes, to me, have so many living memories. They tell more adventures than all the photos, tickets Stubbs and cards we save ever could. From the £1.49 flipflops I wondered all over the slums of India in to the Prada heels I took a romantic stroll down the Champs-Élysées, Paris in, each pair tell a story. The Karen Millen killer heeled boots I wore on a surprise first date rock pooling at Robin Hoods Bay (yes I managed it with style and grace!)The UGG boots that kept me toasty as I explored down town manhattan, eating banana's for the holidays and bagels in central park and the LK Bennett ballet pumps I lived and died in as I explored the narrow winding streets of Venice. From Primark to Prada my shoe addict knows no bounds......


Interestingly some good interview (and life) advice is that an employer (or some one) can tell a lot about you by your shoes. It says a lot about a woman who can gracefully pull off a pair of slender high heels with out looking like a child playing dress up or resorting to wedges or shock horror, worse a kitten/mid heeled shoe, which brings me on nicely to my next issue....

Why are there so many ugly shoes?! Seriously some are violet crimes against the fashion police and whilst standing on tip toes to kiss your fella is cute in the yellow pages ad no woman in real life actually wants to do that! Croc's, kitten/mid heels and wedges should all be banished to shoe box 101 and never reopened.

There is a joke within my circle of friends that I can do anything in 6" heels and scarily it's true. I've kaylieghed, regularly drive, climbed 10 flights of stairs (there was a pencil skirt involved with that too!) baked, shopped and been rock pooling in my beloved heels, all with out any injury, proof you CAN do anything in high heels.

Walking in high heels, is a like walking the moral high ground. It takes time, class, grace and the support of some wonderful people. So whilst some people can choose to stamp last seasons Prada's at you as much as they want, it is time (for me at least) to look forward to celebrating with love and Louboutin's, and if they turn out to be one and the same, well that, like a real life Elle Woods, is just fabulous ..... xX

29+1=....?

As we attempt to negotiate our teenage years, sneaking to bars and pubs, inching on make up 3" thick and wearing our older sisters clothes, we were desperate for that elusive ID. The desperation to turn 18 was overwhelming and (when your birthday is at the end of the academic year like mine is) it can't come soon enough.

Our twenties, well they are a time of growth and discovery. We look for questions and answers as to who we are, what we want and how we are going to get there. From starting out our careers to developing our own style it can be hard to find our own individual way. It's a time where the leaders and individualists start to shine and some people sadly turn into lost sheep. We make relationship mistakes, we learn lessons about ourselves and we make goals for our future. We learn about our own styles (red lipstick really
Isn't for everyone!) and make the transition from a clumsy girl to an elegant woman who can proudly wear 6" heels. We chase our dreams all over the country and sometimes the works. Travelling really is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer.

So what happens when we go from being a twenty something to a thirty something? One argument is that age is just number, we are only as old as you feel (or the man you feel!) and as long as you have your health what else do you need...?

As we enter our thirties, a new and exciting phase in our life's I can't help but wonder if we can put the ghosts of our twenties to bed? Will the battle with our bodies ever end? Will the career ladder become easier or maybe less important? Will we find a direction we are happy with? Will we fall in love and find our happy ever after?

For me my twenties were very focused on my career. Working crazy hours,in demanding industries, at times juggling 2 jobs, my time was totally dedicated to following my dreams and travelling. So as I find myself looking at my thirties head on I can't help but wonder what I might aim for in the next ten years. Further career success, more travelling and another level of calmness and content I hope.

Maybe there hasn't been marriage or children for me yet, but I have something just as amazing and special. The most wonderful girl friends any one could want. Strong beautiful independent women who inspire me, love me , support me tirelessly and when they need to carry me. I have, unknowingly, spent my twenties finding the most amazing bridesmaids.

So maybe my girls are my happy ending, maybe I'm my own happy ending? Maybe prince charming will neve come, maybe he is just round the corner or maybe he is already in my life. All I sure off that is that the beauty is in the unknown, it really is a girls world .... xX

365 days ago......

Everything will be ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end! - The Exotic Marigold Hotel.

We journey through life speeding threw time on super highways, treading carefully when the road gets bumpy, making decisions at cross roads and resetting the sat nav system as needed!!

As we are sent things in life to try us , to push us and develop us it can often be hard to see the wood from the trees! From crazy highs and breath taking lows, we learn so much about ourselves, our relationships with others and about our goals. We can only try to walk away with dignity, our heels and standards a little higher for next time.

There is a lovely quote that states - No one makes a lock without a key. That's why you don't have problems without solutions. And there is a lot of truth in that. No matter how hard a time feels at some point we always look back, smile and know we are better for being there.

Challenges come in many forms, they can be work related, men related, family related, friendship related or even the relationship you have with yourself. They all need work, time, patience and space to grow. We can reflect with the girls, laugh, cry and wonder the hell why but the one big thing about life that is clear is that regardless of what's happening, it moves on.

With that in mind it was exactly 365 days ago today that my life changed.... Sometimes a big step is needed. We need to break free from what is holding us back and fly free. To grab our dreams and follow them, not just talk about them. To not cry ourselves to sleep but to wake up with a smile ready to face the world (and for the days that is hard I swear by the miracle that is YSL Touché Éclat and a Starbucks!) As I chatted with the girls last weekend over beers, burgers and festival fun, I realised just how far we had all come in those 365 days. Goals have been reached and further ones had been made, wishes had come true, there has been successes and learning curves, babies had safely arrived and broken hearts had healed. As for my heart, well, I'm proud of it. It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken, but somehow still works! Somewhere between the friendships, the tears and the laughter we have all survived and thrived with passion and elegance, here, is to the next 365 and what ever adventures they bring! xX