Do you think of her when you're with me? Repeat the memories you made together, who's face do you see?
Do you wish I was a bit more like her? Am I too loud?, I play the clown,to cover up all these doubts.
Perfect heart, she's flawless!
She's the other woman,
Shining in her splendour,
You were lost,
Now she's gone
And I'm picking up the pieces,
I watch you cry,
But you don't see That I'm the one by your side......
- Paloma Faith
So what happens when you are a single girl about town, living the dream. Doing what you want, when you want, how you want. You have amazing friends, wonderful family, live your dreams to the full and the weekends are an adventure into the unknown that you can barely wait to happen and a potential prince charming unexpectedly pops up?
As with all men the timing is maybe rubbish, his white stead may be a little rusty and Disney certainly never mentioned that he may be initially verbally inept but never the less he arrives and your interest has been piqued.
So before you start down a potential. new and exciting path there a certain questions that need to be answers. Not about him ladies, but about you. Are you ready for this, is this what you want and are you really over the ex to get under a new man......?
No one wants the feeling that there are three people in your relationship – you, your man and the ex? Do you talk or email your ex a lot? Or maybe you have an unhealthy grudge, or you are preoccupied with what he is doing now? If any of this sounds familiar, it may mean that you haven't completely let go yet. And ladies this can work both ways, does this sound like your man.....?
1. The Waiting Game -
Okies so no matter how well a relationship ended or how angry you are at some one, bottom line is they take TIME to get over. Time to move on, break old habits and time to heal. There are hopes and dreams we have when we get into a relationship that we lose when we lose that relationship and it takes some time to get over those things. If you were together a long time you clearly need more than a couple of weeks before you are over the ex.
2. Crossed Wires -
When did you fall prince charming? Before the end of your current relationship? Is it just an excuse to end your current relationship. Or are you just telling him that in a bid to prove you are over your ex within days when really you are not? Jumping from on person to another doesn't give you any time on your own to process the demise of that previous relationship so you could run into the same problems as before. Once bitten, twice shy ladies......
3. The Extremity -
If you can only talk about your ex in extremes it is not a good sign you are over him. If you can’t say your ex’s name without gagging this is another warning you may need more single time. If you can't resist talking about him constantly, and he is either the most wonderful thing in the world or the most terrible thing in the world, you might want to question why. There are two people in every relationship and two sides to every story. Being honest ladies there is no way your ex was as wonderful or evil as you make out. You need to be in a place where you can honestly look back at both the good and bad times as well as admit what your own flaws, not just what theirs are.
4.Cutting The Ties -
Can you do it? Can you break the habit of contact? Can you stop looking at his Facebook page? Can you give him his belongings back? Are you still obsessively thinking about what was? Hanging on to anything that would ensure you have to be in contact? Or are you trying to hurt him to get a reaction? If so ladies, you know you need more time, more tears to be over him.
5. Obsession -
If you still want to know whats happening in his life, resort to asking his friends to look at his social networking pages and bear some ridiculous venomous need for revenge, now is not the time for a new man. Are you wanting to revisit places you went with the ex with your new man? Are you attracted to your new man because he is trying to be like your ex? If so ladies you are not finished, you haven't done your grieving.
There is a theory that it takes half the time you were with some one to get over them and this may or may not be true for you. Grieving a break up is a very personal thing that can only be done in your own time and style. For me personally I know I'm over some one when I can look back on both the good and bad times in a neutral way. I genuinely wish nothing but the best for any of my ex's, we shared some amazing times. So to let someone go when you know that they are not right for you is the kindest thing you can do. To set each other free so you can run with your dreams, dance with adventure and find that perfect person for you ..... xX
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