The One That Got Away......?

‘You were mine, somewhere in time. I'll look for you first in my next life. There's always one that gets away.
The one that sneaks up on you,  that slips away.’ – Pink (The One That Got Away.)
It’s a strange how we remember our ex relationships. Some times it’s so rose tinted we wonder why we left, sometimes we can only remember the sad and awful times and sometimes we wonder why we even bothered or what we were thinking. There are relationships that we would live over and over again and those that we wish we had missed the fateful first kiss at which you fell for him. Somewhere between the lies, the pain and the disappointments you often wonder why came. How the fall from cloud number nine was so swift and yet so sudden you don’t even know how you got there.

But in every girls life there is one that was different. One man who you never stopped thinking about, no matter the distance or length of separation. The one who’s text messages and emails still make your heart skip a beat long after you have stopped communicating  There is the one ladies…… the one that got away. Maybe it was just one date, maybe it was a few, maybe it was a relationship or maybe it was something that had never even started but sometimes we just meet someone who touches us in a way no one else has done and that touch lasts forever. Somewhere in the back of our minds no one compares to what could have been and no one will ever meet that expectation. The bar has been set and some where sub consciously we measure every other date against that one.

We live in a time where, in one swift click we can delete an entire relationship history on any social networking site. We can delete text messages and pictures, even hard drives on laptops can be wiped clean and we can return each other’s belongings (if your ex is a half decent person at least he will). We can change our hair style, drop a dress size and be asked out by a dozen men. And yet despite all that there is no delete button for our mind, our memory or our emotions. For some reason, with that one person, there is every off and delete button except for the way we feel. As human beings we are designed to learn from our mistakes, but remembering those mistakes is rarely enjoyable and even less so when they involve reflecting on a close relationship. Lost love, heartbreak, and mating misfortunes powerfully impact our sense of self and wellbeing. Men seem to be able to say goodbye and move on, that is it they are done. The line is drawn and they don’t look back. Us women, on the other hand, seem to need walk away having learnt something, to have found a reason as to why this has happened and we are totally guilty of walking away, staring over our shoulders wondering what might have been.

It is so hard to not think about what might have been when we feel we have snatched a glimpse of something that could be. But is it that it? Had true love ran its course would the one who got away have turned out just like the others before him? Maybe that’s what the one who got away teaches us, to grab that moment and not let it go. To fight any feelings of playing it safe and to be following our hearts instead. To be free, feel the fear and do it anyway, at least that we will know and the questions answered.

As I reflect on the one that I feel got away, I have to be honest now that I do remember him with a fond smile, I occasionally recall our one (amazing) date on a very drunken night with friends and I have often thought about what might have been. I have no idea today if he is single or taken, I have little knowledge now of his job or where about and I have no idea if we would still get on or feel any chemistry, But one thing I do know was if he walked back into my life tomorrow I am sure I wouldn’t want to pick up where we left off, as somewhere in my memory what was was perfect and for now I would like it to stay that way. After all isn’t it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all……..xX