You live, you learn.....? xX

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
-Soren Kierkegaard

 Reflection is a funny thing for us girls. It is something we do a lot off and something we could probably have a PHD in! Looking back on what was is a way of helping us to move forward. To re address our goals, decide what our next move is to get there and who we want to get there with (or maybe do it alone). But most importantly we like to reflect on what we have learnt. But what is our obsession with learning something? Is a way to console ourselves when we have made mistakes, can we really recycle the past and dispense it as advice? Does that help? Do we look back over our shoulder at what might have been? It is very hard to not think about what might have been, when we are at the cross roads of life and unsure which way to go. Often we find ourselves wondering what we are doing, why we made that choice and why we chose a particular path. When the hardest thing and the right thing are the same which road do we walk down? At what point do we stop, readjust the sat nav of life and find a new direction?

From our degree choices (what do you do with a BA (hons) in Performing Arts??!) which seemed so important at the time, we make some big decisions without really knowing the ways of the world or who we are going to be. People, events and experience help to shape who we are and that person is so very different to our 18 year old selves.  We chose, at such a young age, career paths that stay with us for years into our future. It can be hard not to think how things would be different had we not chosen another career path. Is the grass greener on the other side? Should we risk it or is a bad day and we are needing another challenge?

What interesting is that our male counter parts appear to be able to walk away from relationships/jobs/ decisons without a thought and move on. Women on the other hand need to have learnt something. How many times have we sat with the girls, over copious amounts of wine, wondering, pondering the greater meaning of things and the decisions we have made. From jobs, to shoes to men to diets, we are over run with choice and consumed by the option we didn’t take.

The old proverb tells us to never regret a decision you have made because at one point it was something you wanted so much. So maybe you feel it was a bad choice, maybe you would do it all so differently next time and sometimes you wonder when lady luck will ever show her face, but that’s life. It will always kick you down, there will always be choices and decisions for us to make (many people have fought for us to be able to do that!) and there is nothing we can do to change what life wants from us. It’s a wild and exciting ride. Nothing can stop the scary highs or the (sometimes never ending) lows but what actually matters, what life is really about is the people who are there with you through those highs and lows. No one expects them to make it better or take away the stress or pain but they are there none the less holding your hand, walking in your 6 inch heels with you, offering support and kindness when we need it most.

I learnt many years ago that some times to get from A to B we have to go via many other letters in the alphabet. So as I look back and reflect on the decisions I have made (surprise surprise!) there are very few I regret. I have (and very much continue) to live, laugh, love, be spontaneous and follow my dreams with my friends and family by my side. Maybe I should have left dead relationships sooner, maybe I should have believed in myself more and maybe I should have not been so naïve at times but then if I hadn’t made these mistakes would I be who I am now? Sorry fella’s, I think us ladies are on to something here, you live, you learn…….! xX