Under Wear?

Ladies – this week I have been thinking about two things, honesty and shopping. Now these are 2 things I value highly, both for myself and from others. I really believe that they should go hand in hand together, merrily skipping down the high street of life, laughing and joking like Thelma and Louise. Yet I find it a strange concept that in our own realities they rarely get on. Honesty and shopping are, to me, the Brad and Jen of the cosmopolitan universe in that they seem such a perfect couple but for some reason it just doesn’t work. So in the name of being honest about shopping I have to let you into a little secret. You may want to sit down for this one ladies. I hate bra shopping. There. I have said it, talk about the confessions of a shopaholic! I could happily shop all day for shoes (feet never have ‘fat’ days), make up (those clever cosmetic girls make us truly believe that we just cannot have the lipstick without the lip liner for a mere £24 extra, please don’t say it’s only me who buys into that?!) and bags (a Mulberry is a true investment that will go with everything. Amen.) But bra’s, they just stress me out, so when I looked down the other day, I realised with some horror that the time was upon me once more. I needed to go bra shopping. So with a heavy heart, I decided to bite the bullet, get measured, buy a bra and cross my fingers that I survive. It was at this point I realised all my normal bra’s were in the wash so I headed off to town in AllSaints jeans and an Abercrombie vest covering up this seasons latest Agent Provocateur. Not the greatest look and for those of you who have worn Miss P will fully understand the seat belt trauma that ensued!

The thing is, if we start at the beginning and look at it objectively the whole process is a lot less than female friendly. Debenhams have recently commissioned a survey that loudly announces to the world that a massive 80% of all us women are wearing the wrong size bra and are we women really that surprised? First there is the tedious and somewhat humiliating process of being measured. For most of us being trapped in a fitting room is some kind of bizarre torture, then add into the mix having to stand there in your bra whilst a women you have never met before whips out a tape measure to find out your vitals and this is all while she shouts your bra size (in her opinion) to her colleague who, by the loudness of the holler, could possibly be on a different floor, or maybe a different shop. By now, you, the measuring women, half of the store and your next door neighbour know your bra size. Being measured appealing yet to any one? So then comes the array of bra’s in your size for you to try on and this leads me to the next issue. Do you want a semi cup, demi cup, booster cup, padding, adjustable padding? The list and choice is endless, overwhelming and often impossible. Finally peace arrives when the lady and her tape measure wander off to harass some other poor women and your left with a pile of lingerie to try on most of which doesn’t fit/ looks like something your Nan would wear/ not practical for every day wear. After what feels like hours a winner is selected to be purchased and, if you anything like me, you purchase it in every colour available to avoid the inevitable trip back to buy subsequent bra’s. A quick wizz by the tills to pay and you have succeeded! A well fitting bra is all yours for just a few soul destroying hours, a kick in the old self esteem and a large wodge of cash (when did bra’s get so expensive?).

As I grabbed some sushi for lunch in the sun I reflected on this cringe worthy experience. It feels so out dated that in the 21^st century we have not found a better, slightly more reliable way of being measured and yet really, apart from the poor customer service, I have the whole experience much easier than some. I haven’t had to have a mastectomy (as 1 in every 10 women who have a breast cancer diagnosis do), I don’t have tubular breasts (as 1 in every 700 women do) and I do not have breast asymmetry. But I have people who I am close to in my life who do. So this blog is for all you gorgeous and very brave ladies who fight your breast battle every day of your lives. Let’s hope for your brighter boob day and a better way of being measure.

xX