Addictions to sugar and shoes ....

We all have a secret vice, a little habit that we know isn't good for us but that we can't resist. The kind of little thing that we can ignore for so long but sooner or later, despite our best efforts, it catches us out. Normally it's when we hit a low, we are tearful and need reassurance from an old favourite source. For some of us it's chocolate at the end of a bad day, copious amounts of vino on a Friday after a bad week, a cheeky pick me up outfit on the forbidden credit card or maybe its an encounter with some one we know is toxic for us. The brilliant thing about these little addictions and flirtations is that for such a short while they make us feel on top of the world. Like we are amazing, the world is wonderful and we feel empowered that we can do any thing we want. The sky is the limit and we want to touch the stars whilst we are there. Our endorphins are racing around our bodies like a child on e numbers and we are totally swept up in the whole situation. What can be wrong with that, you can ask? We all work long hours, give endlessly to friends and family, why shouldn't we do that special something for ourselves? But how special and exciting is this treat just a few short hours after it has happened? How often are we left feeling guilty and empty after the deed is done? Often after the initial pleasure comes the hours, days or weeks of pain, hurt, tears and regret. The destructive circle of self hatred is in full flow, causing us more regret and negative emotions. How often do we see our own behaviour as destructive? In a world where we are told we can do any thing, are we kidding ourselves that we are so super human that we can really handle the aftermath of our own temptations? By giving in to these toxic situations are we just short changing ourselves? Are we taking second best in a situation where we are worried that getting a first is too much to ask? 

Chatting with the girls this week over salad trays, beans on toast and fat free soup it became clear we are all running and hiding from certain temptations. Lunch with friends is the perfect place to make our confessions of credit cards spending, whole entire pizza munching and  being unable to resist communication with the toxic ex. It's a safe place to talk about what we are tempted to do and yet despite kind thoughtful advise being handed out with the celery sticks we choose to give ourselves less than we deserve. Is an addiction to sugar and shoes causing us instant happiness and setting us up with little future gain? 

Some times we just have to take a deep breath and ignore these temptations, be them friend requests from frienimies, texts from toxic men, the mcdonalds drive through after a bad day or the lunch time credit card splurge because if we look deep enough into ourselves we will see that we are worth so much more than the cheap fix's these vices give us. As for me, well the chocolate is in the freezer, my facebook page has had a frienimy clear out and my credit cards are in tiny pieces.  After all, why waste time, money and calories a big mac when it's worth waiting for steak?