‘Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.’ Matt Greoning. The Simpsons.
It was few weeks ago, back in the middle of a cold, windy and wet January that I first felt the cold trickle of dread wash over me. Mid January, mid diet, mid detox and subsequently mid way through losing my sanity, I was snuggled in bed reading Vogue. Enjoying the voyeurism and escapism of such delights as Dior, Prada and Chanel, I sipped my boiled water with lemon (gotta love a detox!) and was thinking skinny thoughts. As I turned the page my heart sunk at the sight of the next article. Copenhagen V Paris for Valentine’s Day. What?! How did we go from couture to car crash in the flick of a page? One minute I’m in shoe lusting heaven, the next I’ve been kicked into advertising hell. My initial reaction was where have all the beautiful things I can’t afford but aspire too gone, swiftly followed by how about neither is an option?! Silently cursing the beloved Anna Wintour, her style, her perfection and now her love life, it was now apparent that she now had the monopoly on Valentine’s Day too. Feeling fat, frumpy and depressingly style less I needed to take action before I ended up in my pj's (the really comfy, 10 year old ones, not the Anna Wintour, Agent Provocateur type) , on the vino singing 'All by Myself'. Yes ladies we all know that slippery slope. Before you could say Bridget Jones I had made up my mind drastic action was needed. Something involving champagne, fashion and cynics of the cursed St Valentines sprung to mind.
Now before all the single girls raise their arms in the air, pop open some bubbles and meaningfully start a cats chorus of Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ to any ex you can think off and the loved up ladies, roll their eyes, clutch their man even tighter and declare all Valentine’s non lovers bitter, twisted souls I must point out this isn’t a single v taken debate. This is really more of an objective look at the materialism of such a celebration with attempted minimal cynicism. Or maybe it’s a contest to see how many ‘isms’ one can get in to ones blog!! The confusion, at least for me, comes from the exploitation of an emotion that is one of life’s greatest freebies. To me falling in love will be a totally unique experience and I am not convinced Hallmark will be able to conjure up a card that conveys the complexity of those emotions to my chosen beloved. There are also 364 other perfectly good days in the year to express your feelings in any way you want and does not involve the tacky red heart brigade.
The next day as I read the New York Times on line, attempting to absorb the culture, I was a little stunned to see that some brilliant journalist had kindly submitted an article (that was published!!) selecting the best Valentine’s Day shoes?! Now I’m a shoe lover, in fact the word obsessive may have been bantered around on occasions and yes I have had to hide the true extent of my collection from friends and family but I have never once thought, Oh, Valentine’s! I need new shoes.....’ And for the record, I don’t have an addiction. Just a strong and very deep love! But it’s not just The New York Times who are using anything to sell us the dream of St Valentines. Ebay have emailed selling elegant and classic dresses for Valentine’s day, Agent Provocateur are urging us to ‘lie back and think of knickers’, Net A Porter feel the key to an excellent romance is in the correct mix of accessories and Apple feel an iPad 2 is a great Valentine’s day pressie, just a token gesture then.... Even MTV are in on the action, for just £1 a text you can vote for your favourite love song of all time.
The next day as I read the New York Times on line, attempting to absorb the culture, I was a little stunned to see that some brilliant journalist had kindly submitted an article (that was published!!) selecting the best Valentine’s Day shoes?! Now I’m a shoe lover, in fact the word obsessive may have been bantered around on occasions and yes I have had to hide the true extent of my collection from friends and family but I have never once thought, Oh, Valentine’s! I need new shoes.....’ And for the record, I don’t have an addiction. Just a strong and very deep love! But it’s not just The New York Times who are using anything to sell us the dream of St Valentines. Ebay have emailed selling elegant and classic dresses for Valentine’s day, Agent Provocateur are urging us to ‘lie back and think of knickers’, Net A Porter feel the key to an excellent romance is in the correct mix of accessories and Apple feel an iPad 2 is a great Valentine’s day pressie, just a token gesture then.... Even MTV are in on the action, for just £1 a text you can vote for your favourite love song of all time.
With all the pressure of such eloquent and persistent advertising being thrust upon thick and fast only time will tell what St Valentines will bring us and which way we will go. Whether we succumb to Interflora’s finest, keep it low key and personal or boycott the entire thing one thing is for sure as the day its self looms ever closer I can’t help but find myself asking, if you’re doing it, are you are giver or a receiver?
TBC xX
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